A very rude boy
Every guy on the planet should at least once in his life experience a prostate massage. Some guys will not like it, but I believe the majority would love it. I’ve tried almost 30 different prostate massagers at this point, and the latest in my line of conquest is the Rude Boy by Rocks Off. It sports some interesting features and has some novel ideas, worthy of further exploration.
First, let’s get to the point – or shaft – about which most guys spend the most consideration first. I am by no means a “size queen,” but I also don’t want a test of the strength of my sphincter to hold a toy in while I’m concentrating on getting Captain Happy an eruption via the south slope. That is to say, a prostate orgasm requires focus on the pleasure, and the last thing I want is the instrument of bliss sliding out every time I flinch.
The Rude Boy falls into the “just right” category on that front. It is neither too large, nor too small, and I wasn’t worried about keeping things in place for the duration.
Now, the savants among those of us possessing a Y chromosome also appreciate quality in a prostate massager. Right out of the box, the Rude Boy has no irritating stench, thanks to its superior materials (see also: Medical Grade, The Joy of using). For those concerned with post eruption environmental hazards, this cheeky sex toy cleans up in a snap.
Reasonable guys will also want more information on the nubs that are designed to “tap the old taint.” This is, as a point of fact, the most effective argument for the use of the Rude Boy. Those nubs, with the bullet humming away right underneath them, are like the pillars of heaven, turning one’s crotch into an erogenous zone nearly as intense as a Roman bath-house after a bottle of wine! Yes, your perineum will thank you for the experience (no, it really doesn’t talk, but you get the idea).
For the retiring sorts who like their orgasms in solitude, the bullet is whisper quiet, but powerful enough to keep one satisfied.
But it wouldn’t be fair to lavish praise on such a cheeky addition to the stable, without picking a few nits along the way (in hopes that a design team is reading this closely). The largest nit is the length of the curvature of this toy. By my best anal estimation, the tip misses the bull’s eye by a full inch or more. Tighten it up lads and save some money on raw materials. I was able to accomplish the massage, but it came at the price of disappointing my perineum for a few minutes.
However, the first miss was – to be entirely honest – painful. To my knowledge, no researcher has discovered the orgasmic benefits of colonic massage.
The smaller nit is that the bullet didn’t carry the vibration all the way up the shaft. I’d drop a few more dollars for a larger bullet down there (wouldn’t have any choice, my perineum would hold me at gunpoint to do it). The lack of vibration at the top meant more work, which was mildly disappointing, since I was engaged in other mental activities at the moment.
So, while these nits didn’t allow the Rude Boy to crack (pun intended) my top five, it made a respectable showing. And remember, each body is unique, so you may find this prostate massager hits your spot. The only way to find out is to try it. Like I said before, the perineum massage alone on this model warrants the investment.
Good luck, and may your eruption also bring a halt to air travel over Europe!
