Yeah, yeah, I’ve heard it already. “I don’t do phone sex because I can get the real thing.” Really? You are 100% accurate when you target the new little hottie, or for women, that new hot stud at the nightclub. Sorry, I’m not buying it. Nobody is that good.
In fact, I checked with the statisticians at our Sextoys Partyology Department, and they confirm that chances of bagging that target (assuming she or he has had less than 7.25 beers) are 48.762%* on a Saturday, and shrivel to less than half of that on a Sunday.
You’re not going to get lucky every time, and you want to be properly accessorized with the right vibrator or masturbator when you come home, pick up the phone and head off to fantasy land. These accessories will vary based on personal taste. But we thought we’d give a couple of suggestions to get your creative juices – among others – flowing.

A little buzz for the buzz of conversation
So ladies, contemplate having this vibrator waiting for you. The Onye Fleur – Pink:
B3 Onye Fleur is a celebration of Beauty and Sensuality, lovingly formed to enhance your pleasure. Crafted of virgin plastics, it is hygienic and non-porous for easy cleaning.
The softly textured, non-slip grip allows you to focus on the welcome waves of vibration radiating from the delicately-contoured, cylindrical body. Compact and discreet for travel, Onye Fleur is Waterproof and features three blissful speeds of vibration (from gentle to very intense) and has the most power in its size class.
Like all Big Teaze Toys products, Onye Fleur contains no latex, phthalates, lead or heavy metals.
Onye Fleur measures 4 inches in length and 1 inch in diameter. Requires three AAA batteries (not included).
Onye Fleur for Truly Affordable Luxury!

A deep throat for more than conversation
And guys, you’re going to want a masturbator for the experience, trust me. This one should do the trick, The Tenga Deep Throat Cup:
Hard: The Hard cup provides a deep and intense suction combined with a hard tightening action.
Standard: The “Deep Throat” cup of the Tenga masturbation cup series lets you experience a deep sucking sensation…Special valves create a virtual vacuum inside the cup, to deliver an amazing sucking sensation. The top air vent can be left open or closed, with fingertip, depending on your suction preferences. The unique pinched-in shape of the cup helps to achieve an unparalleled tightness. These advanced features combine with an arousing slurping” sound and vibration give you the feeling that you’re enjoying a real deep throat experience.
Soft: The Soft cup has a softer, gentler grip for a more relaxing experience.
Ultra Size: The “ultrasize” and “super vacuum” (U.S.) edition cups are 20% larger and are designed for the more endowed.
Now hold the phone! You can’t just go dialing willy nilly through the phone book. I’d be willing to bet that the vast majority of the people in it don’t want to have sex with you, not at that hour at the very least. You need a set up strategy to get things going.
Guys, if you buy any sex toy from Sextoys.com, you can get a PIN number for 15 FREE minutes of phone sex at:
1-800-927-MOVIE
And ladies, go ahead and get the toy of your choice, but you call for free every time at 1-800-338-LIVE!
Oh, and for those of you wanting the complete experience, buy a DVD for extra fun.
*Unscientific results from the Sextoys Partyology Department based on drinking a whole lot of alcohol, buying a whole lot of alcohol for others and trying to get laid (Y variable is “hottie” or “hot stud” which mutates after 8.57 beers).