I’m going to state openly one of the secrets of the known universe: Guys know how to masturbate really well.  OK, you get the joke, no secret there.  Some guys have even discovered the joy of masturbators.  But I want to talk about something we visited a while back – the hand job.

For those new to this game, you can get our detailed notes on the subject here.

The other “secret” about masturbation is that guys know how to do it well because they enjoy it.  It’s fun to wank, and most guys do it frequently, unless they have some major hang ups.  I promise you that right now, some highly religious (pick your pious religion), straight arrow type is giving his palm the shaft out of public view.  And his prostate will thank him later.

But, and here’s the literal rub, having someone else perform the service makes the sensation twice as fun.  The guy can just lay back (or if he’s smart – be playing with his partner’s bits) and enjoy the rub.  Twice as fun is good, but why not put a multiplier on and send him into orbit?  So if you’ve decided to give the lucky guy a handy, and you want a multiplier, you need a place to start.

That’s where a good masturbator comes in handy, see, the subject has no end to (p)Fun.

There are all sorts of masturbators on the market, but last year in Los Angeles, we had the chance to meet the team from Tenga.  They gave us a bunch of their products to try, and in the interest of diligent customer service, we did.

We know that the Egg came before the orgasm

One product looked like an oddball.  It was the Tenga Egg.  On first sight, I asked a one word question, “Seriously?” To which the reply was that “You can masturbate a horse with this one.”  Note to our freakier readers: We do not suggest, nor imply that you should attempt to “masturbate a horse.” However, the good folks at Tenga produced a massive glass dong and put the little egg to the challenge.  It was an impressive display.

Well, of course there was an urgent need to “find out for ourselves.”  The Tenga Egg Wavy was my responsibility.  I took it on a solo run, and I can’t speak for horses everywhere, but I can tell you that I had a seriously cool ride.  The second run was with a partner, and I assure you that there is a multiplier.  One of the better handies I ever had.

And there are many, many more options out there for all tastes.  Check out our complete line of masturbators for men and find the one that works for your partner.

Good luck, and happy handies!

If you’ve read our blog for a while,  you know that we’re big fans of masturbation and orgasms.  Both are healthy and normal activities for human beings.  Our website offers sex toys, like the Monkey Spanker, that help people to enjoy both.  We also get excited when we find research that supports the health benefits (and in this case, reproductive benefits) of masturbation.

The Monkey Spanker

Scientific American’s Jesse Bering has a great post on why humans are so good at masturbating (Hat Tip to the Reverend Monkeyspank), and why, contrary to what you may believe, masturbation is a healthy part of the reproductive cycle.  Wait!  Masturbation helps men to be more effective in reproduction?

You betcha! Here’s Bering’s documentation:

“When it comes to sex, we put this capacity to very good—or at least, very frequent—use. In a now-classic, pre-Internet-porn (I’ll get to that later on) study  by British evolutionary biologists Robin Baker and Mark Bellis, male university students were found to masturbate to ejaculation about every 72 hours, and “on the majority of occasions, their last masturbation is within 48 hours of their next in-pair copulation.” If they’re not having intercourse every day, that is to say, men tend to pleasure themselves to completion no more than two days prior to having actual sex.

Baker and Bellis’s quite logical argument for this seemingly counterintuitive state of affairs (after all, shouldn’t men try to stock up as much sperm as possible in their testes rather than spill their seeds so wastefully in a rather infertile swath of toilet paper or a dirty sock?) is that because there is a “shelf-life” for sperm cells – they remain viable for only 5-7 days after production – and because adult human males manufacture a whopping 3 million sperm per day, masturbation is an evolved strategy for shedding old sperm while making room for new, fitter sperm. It’s quality over quantity.“

I won’t recite the entire article here – you really should read it – but I will say that Bering’s research is thorough and entertaining.  Monkeys don’t spank it very often, you know. It turns out that humans have an edge (no pun intended) when it comes to masturbating.  What is it?  Imagine all the possibilities.

So those women who are looking for a new addition to the family, maybe it’s time to let your partner do his thing.  We can provide him a huge supply of sex toys for men to help him along his way.

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Contest is closed!
We would like to think those who entered and congratulate our winners:

Best Female Masturbation Story: LadyInToyland wins the Brigit by Touche

Best Male Masturbation Story: Cedrick wins the CyberSkin Vibrating Sex Buddy by Topco Sales

Wildest Masturbation Story: Missy wins a surprise gift!

We will be emailing you shortly for a mailing address so we can put the prizes in the mail.
Thanks to all that participated!

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Tell us your wildest masturbation story and win a free sex toy!

SexToys.com is proud to announce a contest that will run through the end of the month. May is officially National Masturbation Month, so it only seems fitting that SexToys.com shares and spreads some of the love to make sure each person can celebrate in their own special way!

And our way is to give away sex toys! But we can’t just give the prize away. We have to make it interesting. So since this is the month of masturbation, to enter the contest we want you to tell us your stories. We want to hear the hottest, wildest, craziest, naughtiest masturbation stories that have happened to YOU. Nothing made up, it needs to be 100% true. We want everyone to post their story in the comments section here. That way it will give everyone a chance to read and enjoy your experience!

Here are the different adult sex toys that everyone is “playing” to win:

Best Female Masturbation Story: Brigit by Touche

Best Male Masturbation Story: CyberSkin Vibrating Sex Buddy by Topco Sales

Wildest Masturbation Story: Surprise gift based on sex of winner!

We are going to keep the contest open until May 31, 2010 and then a panel of SexToys.com staff will select the Best Male Masturbation Story, Best Female Masturbation Story and the Wildest Masturbation Story.

HOW DO YOU ENTER?
Submit a comment at the end of this post describing your wildest, craziest, sexiest masturbation story. Good writing is great but we realize not everyone has the same ability or talents so don’t be discouraged. Authenticity will weigh more than how well the post is written. But please don’t spare any details! You can use a fake name when posting but please include your real email address so we can contact you if you should win.
ONLY ONE COMMENT PER PERSON!

IMPORTANT:
Sextoys.com will not publish your name or any personal information, nor will we sell, share or use your email for promotional or sales purposes. But as stated above, we do need a real email address to contact the winners. Prizes are shipped in plain boxes with no mention of Sextoys.com, or invoices with information on what is inside.

By entering the contest, you certify that you are of legal age to receive a sex toy and that sex toys may be delivered to the jurisdiction in which you live. Contestants must be at least 18 years of age. (21 years of age in some jurisdictions.)

ELIGIBILITY:
No purchase is necessary to enter. Employees of Sextoys.com and any affiliated companies are not eligible to enter or win prizes. You must be 18 years of age (21 in some jurisdictions) or older to enter.

The contest is open to residents of the United States of America and Canada ONLY.

WARRANTY:
Sextoys.com offers no warranty on prizes.

It’s Monday and we’re all probably trying to shake off the woes of another weekend slipping through our grasps.  For some of us, Sunday was a blur and we have the headaches to prove it.  Others of us had a dull weekend filled with duties and chores.  Yet others had a hodgepodge and just want to kick the Monday blues.

Time for a Handie

One day to help a guy get over the dreaded “Mondays” is to not let something slip through your grasp.  That’s right, today we’re talking about the woefully underrated, and seldom enjoyed hand job.

Some of you may find that a boring idea, but let me stop you there.  An average guy has been the recipient of hundreds, if not thousands (depending on his sex drive), of self administered hand jobs. Guys KNOW hand jobs. They like them. If you can administer one properly, he’ll be seriously impressed!

But a partner giving a hand job has many options available that aren’t when the guy is flying solo.  Let’s look at the options.

Option 1 – Old Reliable

Sometimes simple is best. There isn’t a swinging dick on the planet who will deny that a good old fashioned monkey-spank produces good results. If you’re new to the hand job, a good stroking is a great place to start.

Details: This one really is simple.  All you have to do is get a suitable grip and start to stroke up and down the shaft. The results will be exactly what your partner wants.

Manufacturer’s Notes: You can spice this one up by showing the boys some love.  Lift the shaft out of your way and have at them with some oral affection.  You’ll hear the groans and grunts of happiness if you’re doing it right.

Option 2 – The Herky Jerk

Edging is something many guys enjoy.  Basically, the idea is to get right to the point of orgasm and to stop, cool down and then repeat.  When it’s time to blow, the reaction is volcanic.  An edged orgasm is one of the most intense a person can have.

Recommended for the Herky Jerk

Details: This one requires a lighter touch and you’re going to need time.  Want a quickie?  If so, forget The Herky Jerk.  You have to spend time building up the heat and then letting it dissipate.  A good lube is perfect for The Herky Jerk, like the one we recommend here.

Manufacturer’s Notes: You’re absolutely going to have to communicate well to “pull off” a Herky Jerk.  You have to know when he’s close, so that you can ease the pressure.  This is a great time to kiss and get some reciprocation!

Option 3 – The Kiss of Little Death

The French have long referred to orgasm as the “little death.”  Sounds kind of depressing, unless you think of the rush and concluding temporary exhaustion, which then makes the phrase more sensible. But you can make the little death a little more bearable with a few oral pleasures added in.

Details: This is a classic hand job with a light touch of oral (EMPHASIS: LIGHT) pleasuring added in.  You can use a flavored oral sex lube to add to your pleasure while giving him his. The key is to tease the glans (head) of the penis as you gently caress the shaft.  Doing this over and over again in little teases throughout will drive him wild.

Manufacturer’s Notes: You could end up with more than a mouthful using this technique.  Usually the orgasm comes on very rapidly because of the multiple stimulation techniques. If you’re in a safe relationship and ok with that, enjoy!  If not, watch carefully for your partner’s expressions and have him communicate so that you know when it’s coming – literally.

Option 4 – The Double Fister

If you’re in a relationship with a partner who has a little extra artillery range (very well endowed), this is an option that will fire his gun. Two are usually better than one, and this is no exception.

Details: You’ll need a little coordination for this one.  Get both hands on the shaft with the appropriate grip and stroke them with synchronized movement.  You’ll know you’re off sync by his screams (if you go without lube), so try to keep things together.

Manufaturer’s Notes: Make sure your grip is the same on both hands, to keep the pressure constant. With this one, you can also switch hands off to give yourself a break.

The most important aspect to hand jobs is to freestyle.  Add your own unique touch to give your partner a signature handie.  The best part of all is that if your grip matches your partner’s desired stimulation, you can’t mess up a hand job.

So get a fist full and happy stroking!

Every one is busy shoveling and trying to stick to their 2010 resolutions, so I thought I’d write a short post with suggestions for those of you who are set on having better (and more!) sex in the new year!

1. Masturbate. The key to ecstasy in the bedroom is knowing what gets you off and that means you need to figure it out yourself! I could write a novel on this, but Ginger breaks it down really well over on SexToysForLadies!

2. Talk. So you figured out what rocks your world, now you need to tell your partner just what gets you off. Communication is the key to any great relationship and that has to continue in the bedroom.

3. Laugh. Sex is funny.

4. Lube. I can’t even keep track of how many times we’ve advocated the liberal use of lubricant, but here it is for those of you who are new to the blog!

5. Experiment. Variety is the spice of life and we’ve got a boat load of sex toys that’ll help you keep things new in the bedroom. Whether you’re looking for a bullet vibe, new handcuffs or a penis pump, we’ve got it and you need it!