In a previous post, we outlined the problem of Delayed Ejaculation.  Lately, a number of people have asked questions related to this problem.  I’ll take a moment to outline it again.  Delayed Ejaculation is the opposite of premature ejaculation.  Where a man who suffers from premature ejaculation will last seconds or minutes, delayed ejaculation can make a man almost, if not completely, incapable of having an orgasm during sex.

We’ll start with our primary warning on every sexual health issue.  If you have a problem with sexual dysfunction, always first seek the help of a licensed clinical professional to rule out medical, psychological or emotional issue that might be affecting your sexual health.  Sometimes, a doctor can identify an easily treatable problem, or a more serious condition that needs attention.  Relying solely on advice from the internet (even ours, though we take pride in providing good, well researched information) can be dangerous for your health and well being.  See a doctor first if you have any physical problems.

Use Lubricant

Once you’ve ruled out medical problems, you can move on to some simple tips that my help you solve this problem.

First, consider your masturbation habits.  Are you a tight-fisted jack rabbit style masturbator?  This can easily lead to delayed ejaculation.  By keeping a tight grip during masturbation, you actually create a situation where your penis is over-stimulated.  When you have sex with a partner, her or his body can’t replicate that sensation, whether with the mouth, the vagina or anus.

Solution: Try to moderate, or even stop masturbation for an extended period of time.  When you begin to masturbate again, use lubricant and a light touch while you masturbate.  This will allow your penis to become sensitive to the touch again, and take away the over-stimulation problem that makes it difficult to reach orgasm.

The first few times, don’t even focus on the orgasm.  Take a sexually appealing thought and focus on it.  Set aside a block of time and casually masturbate.  If you don’t achieve orgasm, don’t worry.  As you continue to practice, the sexual energy will build and you’ll get the desired result.

Speaking of sexually appealing thoughts, what do you think about when you’re engaging in sexual intercourse?  Is your mind on the big game, or tomorrow’s work schedule, or the need to rake the leaves?  If you think too much, you can absolutely ruin the moment when you’re having sex.

Solution: First, focus on your partner.  You want to have sex with her or him for a reason, right?  What is it that is lighting your candle?  Focus on that and that alone.  The leaves can get raked later.  Next, try extensive foreplay.  Touching, kissing, spanking – as an example of whatever turns you both on – for an extended period builds sexual energy.  On that note, you could even offer your partner an erotic massage.  Run your hands over all of that luscious real estate and enjoy the view and feel.  You’ll find your sexual tension builds more and even to the point where you can’t not be totally in the moment.  And a pleasant side effect is that if you are focusing on your partner’s pleasure, you’re absolutely certain to have a pleasurable experience, orgasm or no, and you’ll be really popular around the house for a few days.

And here’s one final thing to consider: Are you nervous, worried, or freaking out about your performance during sex?

Solution: Let it go, man.  Your partner, unless you’ve done something illegal, has chosen to enjoy sex with you.  That means your partner is as into you as vice versa.  Just focus on having a good time.  If you do that, your stud points will accumulate and you’ll be just fine.  Talk to your partner and spill the beans.  “Honey/dude, I’m really freaking out about my performance and I’m worried you aren’t into it.  Do you enjoy our sex?  Anything I can do to improve it?  I want to have a good time and not be worried that you aren’t.”  Lead with that in a casual conversation and see what happens.  Odds are, you’re going to get a hug, smile, honest discussion and hopefully much, much more for your sincerity and concern.

Give these ideas a whirl and see what happens.  You may discover that your orgasm problems will gradually become a worry of the past, and your partner will really enjoy your physical company.

Curious about flavored lubes?  I know a lot of people are, so I thought it would be a good idea to write about them specifically.

Of course I should say that, in general, I’m not a big fan of flavored lubes. That doesn’t mean I don’t use them,  I just tend to shy away from them for a couple of reasons.

First, a lot of them have ingredients that I try to avoid. Any time you see that a lube has sugar in it, no matter how good it tastes, do not put it near your junk. Sugar = yeast infection nine times out of ten and that’s bound to put a damper on your sex life. Fortunately, there are a number of companies out there who are looking out for your well-being and make quality products without sketchy lists of ingredients a million miles long.

Of course, if you have a bottle of Sugar Momma’s Strawberry Sex Lube and LOVE the way it tastes, there’s no reason you can’t make good use of it – just keep it away from everyone’s genitals! Please don’t let me stop you from licking anything off of your lover’s nipples!

The second reason I don’t usually reach for my flavored lubes is that I like the taste of pussy. That’s probably the most vulgar way I could express that sentiment, but it’s the truth. Why mask something I enjoy with 46 chemicals that mix together to taste like “cherry.”

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, it’s time to learn a bit about these popular products. The appeal of these products is pretty obvious. I mean, who doesn’t love a little extra sweetness in any aspect of life. Think of flavored lube as the sugar in your coffee…

One of my favorite lines is Sliquid’s Swirl. I love the company and their products because they obviously put a lot of thought into their products. Swirl’s water-based lubricants are 100% Vegan friendly, glycerin free and paraben free. Of course, they don’t have any sugar in them, so there’s no need to worry about throwing off a woman’s PH balance.

I have the Cherry Vanilla flavor and think it’s great. It has a really subtle flavor that doesn’t leave a bad taste in your mouth. The sweet hint is a nice addition to any oral games and I have to say that as a lubricant it works pretty well. Like most water-based lubes, you do have to reactivate occasionally, but I don’t have any major complaints about it.

Another company making safe and sexy lube is O My. Like Sliquid, their flavored lubes don’t contain any sugar and are paraben free. Another great thing about them is that they don’t contain any dye, so you don’t have to worry about having Blueberry Cheesecake lube stains on your expensive sheets! I had a chance to use the Passion Fruit flavor and really liked it.

To be honest, both O My and Sliquid are great products and I recommend both highly if you’re looking for a little something sweet.  I guess it just comes down to personal taste and what kind of flavor fun you’re looking to have because the variety is pretty astounding.

Flavored lubes can be a lot of fun and definitely add a new playful element to your sex life.  Just take the time to look at what ingredients make up any lube before application and always stay away from sugar and glycerin!

Today’s featured product comes to us from Intimate Organics, a great company who’s dedication to products that are body safe are worth highlighting.  Beside this Clitoral Gel, they also produce bath products like bubble bath and body wash and massage oils!

Intimate Organics clitoral stimulating gel is completely free of parabens, menthol, and DEA and is vegan and latex condom friendly! Available in a Gentle or Intense strength with different levels of peppermint oil, just rub a small dab of this gel into the clitoris to increase blood flow and sensitivity! Enhance partner play or solo exploration with this sexy little secret!

Be sure to check out the complete line of Intimate Organics items available on Sextoys.com!

As Sarah, our resident lube encyclopedia says, good lubrication is important for play time.  And when you really want the best, Pjur is a name that should come to mind.  Aside from being effective, Pjur also provides safe, healthy products that don’t expose you to unwanted chemicals.  Pjur Power Premium is an excellent choice, and is latex friendly.

From Pjur:

“The name tells it all. Pjur Power is one of our most powerful silicone and water based body lubricants for extra-hot sex! Its excellent gliding properties make it the first choice for anal fun and use with larger toys.

Of course, Pjur Power is totally safe when combined with latex condoms, and as a CE-certified medical product, it is extremely gentle to your skin.”

You can also check out a complete selection of Pjur products here.

Many guys enjoy a little anal stimulation, and no, it doesn’t make you gay – I hope everyone is getting clearer on this now.  See my former post for a full discussion on that subject.  Anyway, the one aspect of anal stimulation is that it is difficult to enjoy without the proper lube.  Enter Bottoms Up Butt Wax from Topco Sales:

“Need some kinky anal fun?

There’s plenty to go around with this 47 ounce tub. The easiest way in is with a scoop of Bottoms Up Butt Wax.

This great wax makes anal sex even more comfortable and easier to enjoy. Made from partially hydrogenated soybean oil, this wax contains no artificial ingredients. This is a 47 ounce container.”

You can even add this to your wish list of up to $1,000 worth of sex toys for FREE in Ginger Leigh’s Fabulous Shopping Spree!

And for those of you who like something to look forward to, Topco has the Bottoms Up P-Spot Pleaser on the market, and we’ll have it in our inventory soon with these great features:

• Firm yet flexible for P-Spot™ exploration
• Transparent Silky Smooth shaft
• Nubbed external stimulation
• Easy twist knob base
• Waterproof
• Phthalate free
• 6″ x 3″ x 1″ (15 cm x 7.5 cm x 2.5 cm)
Battery Info: Uses 2-AAA batteries (not included).

Guys, if you haven’t enjoyed finding your very on G Spot, or more accurately, P Spot, you really don’t know what you are missing.  Check out our complete selection of prostate massagers.