A very rude boy

Every guy on the planet should at least once in his life experience a prostate massage.  Some guys will not like it, but I believe the majority would love it.  I’ve tried almost 30 different prostate massagers at this point, and the latest in my line of conquest is the Rude Boy by Rocks Off.  It sports some interesting features and has some novel ideas, worthy of further exploration.

First, let’s get to the point – or shaft – about which most guys spend the most consideration first.  I am by no means a “size queen,” but I also don’t want a test of the strength of my sphincter to hold a toy in while I’m concentrating on getting Captain Happy an eruption via the south slope.  That is to say, a prostate orgasm requires focus on the pleasure, and the last thing I want is the instrument of bliss sliding out every time I flinch.

The Rude Boy falls into the “just right” category on that front.  It is neither too large, nor too small, and I wasn’t worried about keeping things in place for the duration.

Now, the savants among those of us possessing a Y chromosome also appreciate quality in a prostate massager.  Right out of the box, the Rude Boy has no irritating stench, thanks to its superior materials (see also: Medical Grade, The Joy of using).  For those concerned with post eruption environmental hazards, this cheeky sex toy cleans up in a snap.

Reasonable guys will also want more information on the nubs that are designed to “tap the old taint.”  This is, as a point of fact, the most effective argument for the use of the Rude Boy.  Those nubs, with the bullet humming away right underneath them, are like the pillars of heaven, turning one’s crotch into an erogenous zone nearly as intense as a Roman bath-house after a bottle of wine!  Yes, your perineum will thank you for the experience (no, it really doesn’t talk, but you get the idea).

For the retiring sorts who like their orgasms in solitude, the bullet is whisper quiet, but powerful enough to keep one satisfied.

But it wouldn’t be fair to lavish praise on such a cheeky addition to the stable, without picking a few nits along the way (in hopes that a design team is reading this closely).  The largest nit is the length of the curvature of this toy.  By my best anal estimation, the tip misses the bull’s eye by a full inch or more.  Tighten it up lads and save some money on raw materials.  I was able to accomplish the massage, but it came at the price of disappointing my perineum for a few minutes.

However, the first miss was – to be entirely honest – painful.  To my knowledge, no researcher has discovered the orgasmic benefits of colonic massage.

The smaller nit is that the bullet didn’t carry the vibration all the way up the shaft.  I’d drop a few more dollars for a larger bullet down there (wouldn’t have any choice, my perineum would hold me at gunpoint to do it).  The lack of vibration at the top meant more work, which was mildly disappointing, since I was engaged in other mental activities at the moment.

So, while these nits didn’t allow the Rude Boy to crack (pun intended) my top five, it made a respectable showing.  And remember, each body is unique, so you may find this prostate massager hits your spot.  The only way to find out is to try it.  Like I said before, the perineum massage alone on this model warrants the investment.

Good luck, and may your eruption also bring a halt to air travel over Europe!

This is the part where, being anal retentive about things, we remind you to go see a doctor and make sure your prostate is in good health before you try this.  An inflamed prostate receiving any pressure at all will definitely make your day a painful one.  Also, you don’t want to cause further injury if your prostate is not healthy.  Get a clean bill of health before you give it a go, especially if you are over 40 years old.

So we’ll start with a little information about the prostate.  From WebMD:

“The prostate is a walnut-sized gland located between the bladder and the penis. The prostate is just in front of the rectum. The urethra runs through the center of the prostate, from the bladder to the penis, letting urine flow out of the body.

The prostate secretes fluid that nourishes and protects sperm. During ejaculation, the prostate squeezes this fluid into the urethra, and it’s expelled with sperm as semen.

The vasa deferentia (singular: vas deferens) bring sperm from the testes to the seminal vesicles. The seminal vesicles contribute fluid to semen during ejaculation.”

Aneros Helix

That’s the long way of saying that when you ejaculate, the prostate is intimately involved.  And, as a side note, frequent ejaculation might actually be good for your prostate.  That’s where a prostate massage can be an added treat.

Now, in some fetish play, prostate massage is used for creating ejaculation alone – or a “ruined orgasm.”  If you are into orgasm denial, that’s your ticket.  But, if like me, you kind of consider an orgasm a fun part of sex, then you might want to go for the prostate massage – masturbation combo.  Or you could even go for the mother of all orgasmic explosions with the prostate massage – perineum massage – oral sex package that will leave you as a collection of jumbled, happy nerve endings.

Here are your tips to get going.  First, start small.  Have your partner use her or his finger to gently massage the prostate.  Simple strokes along it are best for a smooth experience.  I strongly recommend a healthy dose of water based lubricant and a rubber glove for the first time.  And make sure all fingernails are neatly trimmed.  Let your partner massage your prostate while you masturbate.  This will get you comfortable with the stimulation.

Next, experiment with internal massage versus a massage of the perineum alone.  The perineum is a stretch of skin between the testicles and anus.  The perineum is directly below the prostate.  You can do a perineum massage first, if you like, but I always suggest internal first to get a feel for anal stimulation.  You may find that the perineum massage is a better way for you, but remember that the urethra runs along the perineum and some people find it uncomfortable to get that kind of massage.

After that, you might want to try out a prostate massager.  Many vibrate, some offer multiple massage points, but almost all of them function better than anything else for a great prostate massage.  Again, start small.  The last thing you want to do is start anal play with the largest sex toy you can find.

Next, always remember to pay close attention to your comfort level.  If something starts to feel uncomfortable, stop the massage.  This is important.  You can cause injury to yourself if you don’t pay close attention.

And finally, some of you have been waiting to hear how to get the best of all combos.  That’s something you and your partner will need to discover together.  Good luck and enjoy the journey!

The Eupho is another great Aneros product.

“The delicately shaped Eupho has a small head and thinner stem which means that it will move more than the other Aneros models. Instead of putting pressure on the entire prostate, the Eupho massages different parts depending on the man’s anal sphincter contractions.

A man experienced with our other models and/or with stronger PC sphincter muscle will be able exact precise control over the Eupho, causing it to “dance” all around the prostate for a variety of subtle to sublime sensations.

The Eupho offers an enticing, appealing shape that tingles and coaxes you slowly to new sensations and uncharted territory. The gentle curves and ergonomic design allow for gradual build-up of physical sensation to lead you to the next level. Due to its advanced design, the Eupho is best reserved for experienced users who have developed their technique.”

Check out our complete line of prostate massagers for more Aneros products.

From Aneros:

“The SGX is a medically researched and designed device that works in harmony with your body’s own movements, redesigned along with the MGX from the original Classic model. Easy to use and fulfilling, with progressively rewarding exercises and experiences.

The SGX was originally designed for the Asian market. The insertion length of the SGX measures approximately 1/2 inch shorter (3.5 inches) than the MGX.

The SGX has a balanced head and stem. The stem features ridges that add stability when using the SGX. The P-Tab provides external prostate stimulation by massaging the perineum.”

You can also find other great play time ideas in our featured products for men.  Or, you can find out what Ginger Leigh would add to this toy for the perfect play time scenario.

Power Probe Prostate

Here’s a challenge for you: Say Power Probe Prostate three times in a row quickly. The speechless sensation you’ll begin to feel about the second time through is a good start on understanding how speechless this prostate massager will leave you. The Dr. Joel Power Probe Prostate is an amazingly powerful toy. From California Exotic:

“Pure Silicone, ergonomically shaped, powerful, 2-speed massagers with push button controls and a non-slip grip. Waterproof.

Total length is 5.5 inches with an insertable length of 4.5 inches. Requires 1 AA battery not included.”

It’s hygienic and easy to clean, powerful and fun.  You’ll love this toy.  You can also add it to your wish list of up to $1,000 worth of toys for FREE in Ginger Leigh’s Fabulous Shopping Spree!