Joanna Angel

This week, Weenie Wednesday features an angel.  Ok, so it’s not an “angel,” it’s Joanna Angel.  Ok, so it’s not Joanna Angel, it’s a part of her.  Ok, so its not exactly a part of her… Ah, nevermind.  Let’s get to the point.  Most weenies will never have a chance to experience Joanna Angel.

However, Burning Angel by Topco has made weenies everywhere able to simulate the Joanna Angel experience with the Joanna Angel Vibrating Cyberskin Doggy Style Pussy and Ass.  Say that fast three times.  You may not be able to say it, but you’ll be doing it three times (and more) real fast.  Forward (or rear, as the case may be) thinking weenies report that this one is a pleasure.

And the rear thinking weenies know what they’re talking about!

It feels as good as it looks

The Joanna Angel Vibrating Cyberskin Doggy Style Pussy and Ass:

“Joanna Angel’s Vibrating CyberSkin Pussy and Ass with Virtual Touch technology is hand-painted for realistic detail with separate, ribbed love tunnels and a powerful five-speed love bullet.

Comes complete with Joanna’s actual tattoos for even more realistic pleasure. Takes three AA batteries, sold separately.”

Get one today!

It’s time to “stud up” your weenie!  This week, get 25% off the Kinky Cock Ring and Ball Harness.  This is one way to make the family jewels shine and turn your partner on.

Kinky Cock Ring and Ball Harness

“Flexible, lightweight neoprene cockring with ball harness provides a snug, comfortable fit and also features metal snaps for multiple size adjustments.” – Check it out!  And remember that you get it for 25% off for this week only!

Halloween is creeping up on us pretty quickly and what better way is there to celebrate than with a BJ from a Vampire! OK, so that might be a bit too risky for most of you out there, but you can have the next best thing with this awesome themed toy from Fleshlight – the Succu Dry!

Introducing Succu Dry Sex in a Can from Fleshlight, the world’s first vampire inspired sex toy for men. Take a walk on the dark side and get familiar with this pale brew. But be careful! Though this may feel like love at first bite, make sure you have wood poised to penetrate before you get completely drained! Enjoy to excess to ensure encounters with Succu Dry are A-Positive experience.

Succu Dry’s unique Vampire mouth opening isn’t for the faint of heart. This exclusive Undead pale sleeve color is made from the same patented Real Feel Super Skin material that’s made Fleshlight the #1 selling male sex toy in the world. The amazingly detailed vampire mouth and fangs beg you to drive your wooden stake deep inside.

To ensure an experience all its own, Fleshlight developed a brand new inner texture for the Succu Dry called “The Fang.” This intensely stimulating texture has dozens of tiny fangs that will gently bite at you until you’re drained of every last drop. Quench your lust and prepare for the ultimate vampire fantasy, but beware, this can will suck you dry!

Modeled after Masuimi Max. She is an internationally renowned model and burlesque dancer. She has been featured in many magazines including Playboy, Maxim, Stuff, and Tattooed Life. Her film credits include David Lynch’s Inland Empire as well as Tiger Army and Nine Inch Nails music videos. Masuimi is mostly known as a fetish pin-up style model with gothic and vampire themes. This Halloween she will be hosting the Playboy Mansion’s annual party.

When the question came up as to who would be best suited to design the Succu Dry can label the answer was easy, Hydro74. His unique illustration style tells a story unlike any other designer.

This review of the Silicone Lover’s Arouser Bunny is sanctioned by His Majesty, Emperor Weenie.  In honor of a favorable review, Sextoys.com is offering this awesome bunny at 25% off for the next week.

Show Me The Bunny

October 6, 2010, Weeniedom – Hooboy “Captain” Happy reporting:

With the help of my faithful assistant, Princess HooHoo, I am proud to report that I have found a new secret weapon in the weenie arsenal – the Silicone Lover’s Arouser Bunny!  Weenies, if you’ve ever had the thought (and I know you have) “Boy, I sure do envy her rabbit,” take heart.  This bunny, while insufficiently masculine in it’s pink color, will absolutely change the course of any day or night operations you undertake.

Right out of the box, this one is a winner.  It had no stinky smell, it is well built and everything was in working order.  The sleeve portion (our body armor) stretches very well, and the bullet slides right into the bunny part of the sex toy.  The nubs along the sleeve are soft, yet firm enough to give extra sensation when you’re all the way in.  Also, the bunny has nubs running down it for extra stimulation for her.

The bullet is powerful and fairly quiet.  But the best part of the bullet is that it will make every weenie vibrate, so we, the weenies, and the rabbit are vibrating simultaneously.  It’s amazing!  It’s like turning every weenie into the perfect rabbit vibrator.  Now, I will say that some love to your princess, and some lube are required to make this operation go off without any hitches.

And, it is better to approach this mission from the bottom.  I tried a few angles, but watching the action from below while she was in ecstasy was the best angle of all.  And hoo boy, was there some action.  She was definitely having some fun courtesy of weeniedom.

On a related note, all of the nubs along the shaft are great for caressing the G-spot at full penetration.  All weenies can do that math: clitoral stimulation + labial vibration + G-spot stimulation + a little weenie magic = ONE SERIOUSLY HAPPY PRINCESS.  Weenies, do not get caught in the field without this weapon at your disposal.

Get the Silicone Lover’s Arouser Bunny for 25% of this week!

<- Eyes Only ->

Special Orders From General Maneim Hung, Weenie Special Forces, 1st Penetration Batallion.

Certification: His Majesty, Emperor Weenie

Circulation: Immediate.

Pass Code: Get It In

<- Begin message -> Weenies, do not wait for reinforcements. (stop)  Immediately begin operations in foreign territory.  (stop)  Penetrate Hoo Hoo headquarters and cause explosive action. (stop)  Pack light, remember your body armor and use the designated vibrating cockring device to begin the detonation sequence. (stop)  Good luck, and good hunting. <- End Message. ->

Get the Vibrating Leather Cockring this week at Sextoys.com for 25% off and fulfill your duty to Weenie and Kingdom.

Cause Explosions in Hoo Hoo Headquarters

The Vibrating Leather Cockring:

“This quality Vibrating Leather Cockring wraps snug around the base of the penis and underneath the testicles to help regulate blood flow and maintain an erection. As a bonus, a powerful vibrating bullet attached at the top adds for great clitoral stimulation for her, and makes your entire package vibrate!

There are three snaps that allow you to find the most comfortable adjustment. “