It’s Monday and we’re all probably trying to shake off the woes of another weekend slipping through our grasps.  For some of us, Sunday was a blur and we have the headaches to prove it.  Others of us had a dull weekend filled with duties and chores.  Yet others had a hodgepodge and just want to kick the Monday blues.

Time for a Handie

One day to help a guy get over the dreaded “Mondays” is to not let something slip through your grasp.  That’s right, today we’re talking about the woefully underrated, and seldom enjoyed hand job.

Some of you may find that a boring idea, but let me stop you there.  An average guy has been the recipient of hundreds, if not thousands (depending on his sex drive), of self administered hand jobs. Guys KNOW hand jobs. They like them. If you can administer one properly, he’ll be seriously impressed!

But a partner giving a hand job has many options available that aren’t when the guy is flying solo.  Let’s look at the options.

Option 1 – Old Reliable

Sometimes simple is best. There isn’t a swinging dick on the planet who will deny that a good old fashioned monkey-spank produces good results. If you’re new to the hand job, a good stroking is a great place to start.

Details: This one really is simple.  All you have to do is get a suitable grip and start to stroke up and down the shaft. The results will be exactly what your partner wants.

Manufacturer’s Notes: You can spice this one up by showing the boys some love.  Lift the shaft out of your way and have at them with some oral affection.  You’ll hear the groans and grunts of happiness if you’re doing it right.

Option 2 – The Herky Jerk

Edging is something many guys enjoy.  Basically, the idea is to get right to the point of orgasm and to stop, cool down and then repeat.  When it’s time to blow, the reaction is volcanic.  An edged orgasm is one of the most intense a person can have.

Recommended for the Herky Jerk

Details: This one requires a lighter touch and you’re going to need time.  Want a quickie?  If so, forget The Herky Jerk.  You have to spend time building up the heat and then letting it dissipate.  A good lube is perfect for The Herky Jerk, like the one we recommend here.

Manufacturer’s Notes: You’re absolutely going to have to communicate well to “pull off” a Herky Jerk.  You have to know when he’s close, so that you can ease the pressure.  This is a great time to kiss and get some reciprocation!

Option 3 – The Kiss of Little Death

The French have long referred to orgasm as the “little death.”  Sounds kind of depressing, unless you think of the rush and concluding temporary exhaustion, which then makes the phrase more sensible. But you can make the little death a little more bearable with a few oral pleasures added in.

Details: This is a classic hand job with a light touch of oral (EMPHASIS: LIGHT) pleasuring added in.  You can use a flavored oral sex lube to add to your pleasure while giving him his. The key is to tease the glans (head) of the penis as you gently caress the shaft.  Doing this over and over again in little teases throughout will drive him wild.

Manufacturer’s Notes: You could end up with more than a mouthful using this technique.  Usually the orgasm comes on very rapidly because of the multiple stimulation techniques. If you’re in a safe relationship and ok with that, enjoy!  If not, watch carefully for your partner’s expressions and have him communicate so that you know when it’s coming – literally.

Option 4 – The Double Fister

If you’re in a relationship with a partner who has a little extra artillery range (very well endowed), this is an option that will fire his gun. Two are usually better than one, and this is no exception.

Details: You’ll need a little coordination for this one.  Get both hands on the shaft with the appropriate grip and stroke them with synchronized movement.  You’ll know you’re off sync by his screams (if you go without lube), so try to keep things together.

Manufaturer’s Notes: Make sure your grip is the same on both hands, to keep the pressure constant. With this one, you can also switch hands off to give yourself a break.

The most important aspect to hand jobs is to freestyle.  Add your own unique touch to give your partner a signature handie.  The best part of all is that if your grip matches your partner’s desired stimulation, you can’t mess up a hand job.

So get a fist full and happy stroking!

Almost everyone knows that sex toys are a great option when you want a little “alone” time during adult play.  And we can’t argue that sometimes, me, myself and I are great play partners who know all the right spots.  But we also know that two people who are having fun can strategically employ sex toys to make orgasms that much more powerful.

Sarah did a great post on kits for couples, and there are great options in it.  Kits of toys definitely get you plenty of bang for your buck.  We also have some other toys that can put lots of bang back into play time.  And for a limited time, you can use the offer code toysfor2 to get a 10% discount on purchases over $30.  Here’s a couple of banging sex toys that qualify for the couples’ offer code!

The Super Sex Sling by SportSheets:

Super Sex Sling

“The Sportsheets Super Sex Sling can help ease you comfortably into new erotic discoveries. This model has a deluxe comfort neck rest, plus extended straps and supports. Fully adjustable.”

This rig retails for $64.89.

Let’s face it, there are many slings out there, and most work fine.  But you add serious posh with this sling.  The padded neck support and ankle cuffs take all of the work out of maintaining the perfect position.  And both partners get to have fun without worrying about angles, sweet spots or anything else.  Just remember to use the offer code toysfor2 to get your discount.

Beginner Strap On For Him

Fetish Fantasy Beginners Strap On For Him:

“Perfect for rear-end rookies! You have teased him with your finger and your tongue, now he wants more. Give your boy-toy the anal satisfaction he craves with this petite 4.24 long curved jelly dong.

The shaft has a diameter ranging up to 1.25. The cleverly curved design will reach his sweet spot with ease. The durable 4-way nylon straps for the harness easily adjust to fit most, while the plush-lined harness comfortably stays in place when the action heats up.

The harness includes three interchangeable rubber rings of varying sizes to hold most of your favorite harness compatible toys. A free satin mask is included for keeping you or your lover guessing as to what comes next. Strap-on the passion and explore your fantasies.”

This awesome strap on retails for $38.89, but you can take 10% off with the offer code toysfor2 while this deal lasts.

While not everyone is a huge fan of Valentine’s Day, I see it as a great excuse to spoil someone you love.  Of course, this could mean taking your partner of ten years out for a night on the town or turning off your cell phone, getting take out and enjoying a quiet evening of quality alone time.

If you’re looking for a last minute gift idea that’ll set you up for plenty of good times in 2010, I’ve compiled a list of great products that are sure to please.

1.  Energizing Foaming Bath – Everyone loves a good bath and it’s one of my favorite ways to relax after a long, hard day. What’s even better, is that whether I’m running a bath for my partner or treating myself to a good long soak, it seems that an orgasm is usually in store for someone!

2. Mini Mini Wanachi – This cordless massager is perfect for sexy times or working out the kinks! The relaxing vibrations relieve tension and reduce muscle fatigue, giving your aching body the recharge it deserves.

3. Nina Hartley’s Guide To Simultaneous Orgasms – This is a great DVD for couples who are looking to connect on an even deeper level. No one does educational DVD’s like adult superstar Nina Hartley!

4. Savoure Moi – Strawberry - This strawberry flavored lotion from Fun Factory is sure to heat things up and is the perfect dessert to end a special Valentine’s Day dinner!

5. Chains of Love Bondage Kit – I couldn’t make this list without adding something a little kinky. This kit from Pipedream is all you need to explore your naughty side and turn your fantasies into reality.

Head over to Sextoys.com for more great gift ideas.

OK, boys, it’s time to think about that Christmas gift.  And if you’re lucky enough to have someone naughty in your life, you’re thinking what I’m thinking, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, sex toys for couples.  That’s right, this is the perfect season to put a little extra hot sauce in the relationship stew.  Well, first, take your finger off the mouse, and don’t click the button to complete your purchase.  That’s right, we have to put those thinking caps on for just a few minutes.

Click this picture for a good idea

Now, for our less experienced brethren, we need to spell some things out.  Trust me boys, reading this is going to spare you an awkward stare in the best case scenario, or a “What were you thinking?” question in the worst case scenario.  Here’s a little tip from your friendly testosterone based sex toy expert: What we find incredibly hot, may not always be what women find incredibly hot.

Maybe a good idea or maybe not

Take that dildo you were staring at a few minutes ago.  You might have been thinking “Wow, she’ll love this!”  That may be true, but are you willing to risk your studliness rating on it?  Think it through with me now.  If you know her sexual appetites like the back of your hand (you lucky devil), you may be perfectly alright buying that dildo.  And that’s good.  But why would you settle for good when you can have the best?

That’s right.  This year, you’re going to enhance your sex life with the tools that our spies have identified as THE most effective tools in the war against boring sex, and give her a holiday gift she’ll love.  Boring sex is perhaps the toughest opponent we men have battled since the beginning of history.  You think Genghis Khan was tough? Puh-lease.  The Mongol hordes were cupcakes compared to, “If you insist, but I really have a headache.”  You can kill a horse mounted archer.  “I’m not in the mood” is an ethereal vapor that can only be temporarily dispelled.

And boring sex has some powerful allies.  Stress, moods, misunderstandings, thoughtlessness, anger and hurrying all give boring sex their complete endorsement and support.  To fight boring sex, you must defeat this great evil’s allies.

Misunderstandings, thoughtlessness and anger can all be easily defeated.  Try being nicer.  Put your partner first sometimes.  Listen (yeah, I know, that’s one of the hard ones, but if you try it, you may actually learn something too).  Here’s a thought, make your partner dinner (or buy a really nice bring home one if you really can’t cook – learn to cook) and have it waiting for her for when she gets home from work.  Around the high-strung holidays, this is an excellent idea.

You serve it up and sit and enjoy it with her, listening to how her day went.  That’s only a first step, but you’ll be on your way. And watch her facial expression as you pay attention to what’s on HER mind, not yours.  Trust me boys, this one is a winning strategy for not just sex, but for everything.

Give her a stress reliever

Stress is an evil ally of boring sex that really takes an effort to dispel.  Try cleaning the house some, doing things that irritate her less, and doing things for her that really make her uncomfortable to do herself.  PAY ATTENTION MEN, HERE COME SOME SERIOUS TOOLS.

The next step to defeating stress is to provide an environment for her where she can totally relax.  The warriors among us know exactly how good a hot tub can feel after a hard workout or practice.  Give her the holiday gift of a luxuriant bath, and you’ll deal stress a wicked blow.  Watch her go from cranky to cozy as the hot bath filled with Kama Sutra’s Treasures of the Sea pampers her.  She’ll let that stress melt into the sea blue bath and be feeling better in short order.

Some of the young bucks among us are now asking “What does this have to do with me getting laid?”  Settle down and read on, boys, you may learn something.

Next on the holiday list to kill off some stress is a great massage.  Our spies report that nothing on earth is better for relieving stress than a good massage where it counts.  Is your partner on her feet all day?  A good foot massage is a perfect way to show her you appreciate her.  Does she have a high stress office job that keeps her under pressure?  Neck and shoulder massages, coupled with a good back massage can release all of that stress if you take your time and do it right.  Get a good massage oil and give her the attention she needs (and most likely really wants if you aren’t doing this already).

You can add to all of the relaxation with some aromatics as well.  A good candle is an excellent choice to accompany the hot bath.  The Ocean breeze scented candle would match nicely with the Treasures of the Sea. It’s all about the moment, boys.  If she can relax and enjoy the moment, stress will flow right out of her and you’ll be Mr. Hero in that moment.  Want some real fun?  Get a candle that produces massage oil like the 3 in 1 Yule Love It, which is a perfect choice for the holidays!

Everything you can do to relieve and reduce stress is one more point scored against boring sex.  Where were we on the list?  Right, moods and hurrying are left.  Here’s the thing, sometimes everyone involved wants a quickie, and there’s nothing wrong with that.  No better way to start the day than with a nice orgasm all around.

But quickies are just that, a quick moment of pleasure.  If you want the mind bending, knee rattling orgasm, you’re going to need time and the right mood.  Lucky for us, Sarah has done an extensive post on how to fight both of these enemies.  Now the smart among us are thinking “This sounds like an awful lot of work, and it isn’t what I would’ve thought, so it must be right!”  The idiots will buy a random sex toy and say “Hey honey, let’s get down for Christmas.”

Boys, invest in the gifts above this holiday season and you’ll win.  Trust me.  Focus on her, relieve stress, show some serious affection and the boring sex won’t even try to make an appearance again before Valentine’s Day, which is another great opportunity to shower her with more happiness.

Good luck, man up, and get shopping.

Only three weeks stand between you and another New Year.  And we at the Sextoys.com Partyology Department know what that means.  Another January 1st with a bad headache, a realization that at least half of your resolutions were broken before you got in the cab to go home, a dry mouth and a sincere desire to remember what happened between 2 and 5 AM.  We’re here to tell you that this year it can be different.

Time to get ready for the New Year

If you’re willing to put the time, effort and thought into a different sort of New Year, we’re willing to give you the tools!  It all starts with the party.  Sure, go have a toast with your friends.  Enjoy the company and wish everyone well.  But before you go, sit down with your partner and make a list of sexual resolutions.  We’re pretty sure that when midnight rolls around, you and your partner will have plenty of reasons to get home as soon as possible.

Here’s a helpful list of suggestions:

Resolution 1: We will start our sexual New Year as soon as possible! 1 AM sounds about right.  We’ll have to get home fast to make it!

Resolution 2: We’re going to try new things this year together.  Oh, we think you have a good idea of new things you want to try.  Sit down and do a bargaining session (I’ll let you use that Strap On if you promise to try the deep throat mints and give it a go!). Ya might want to do this bargaining a little before (like now), since it’s hard to find strap ons and deep throat mints at 1AM on January 1st.

Resolution 3: I’m going to find a different stimulus to get an orgasm.  Oh dear, this could take some time and experimenting.  On the other hand, WOO HOO, it’s going to take time and experimenting!  Heck, let’s make our entire body a playground.  Let’s try some anal play, nipple stimulation, different massages and anything else we can think to tinker with!

Resolution 4: I’m going to turn my play time into something really fun.  Try some games together, maybe fun sex dice, or strip poker, or, well, use your imagination!  You’ll figure out ways to laugh and make love in a whole new way!

Resolution 5: We are going to do this more often.  Do we need to explain this one?

Make your own resolutions and stick to them.  And always remember that the Sextoys.com Partyology Department is here to help you stay on track to a great sex life!

The weather is turning cold and it’s the perfect time of year to curl up under some blankets with your lover and some hot lesbian porn!  I’m a huge fan myself, so I’m pretty excited to share a few movies that have been released recently that I really love.   Here are a few of the titles that any fan of girl on girl action would love to own.

First up is Sweetheart Video’s Lesbian Mentors Older Women Younger Girls. Sweetheart is a relatively new studio started by Nica Noelle (formerly known as Sydni Ellis of Girlfriend Films) that has everyone talking with their seductive sapphic films. I really love Ariel X – and let me just say she’s amazing in this one.

Sometimes our desires can be scary, and it helps to have a mentor to show us the way. In this older/younger-theme film from Sweetheart Video, young, curious lesbians and the beautiful older women they desire meet for explosive sexual encounters.

Shayla Laveaux shows young Tera Dice why sapphic love is the best choice, while Michelle Lay helps Mina Meow unleash her inner lesbian.

Nicole Moore gives in to the lustful longings of young roommate Sinn Sage, and Nina Hartley administers some tough love to rebellious Ariel X.

If you’re a fan of the golden age of porn, you’re not going to want to miss this new release starring two of the biggest stars of classic porn – Nina Hartley and Ginger Lynn. When Ginger Met Nina from Triangle Films, pairs these two superstars for the first time ever and the results can’t be described with mere words.

It’s been 25 years in the making, Ginger Lynn and Nina Hartley together at last!

You won’t want to miss this ADRENALIN DRIVEN ELECTRIFYING SCENE! Their untamed passion brings them to a point of no return as they send each other through a rollercoaster of orgasms!

My final selection is from one of the hottest amateur studios out there, Abby Winters.  If you want to see real Aussie girls getting it on, you definitely need to check out Naughty Girls.  These girls are gorgeous, all-natural and can’t get enough dripping wet pussy!

Naughty Girls Kara and Silvie exchange coy glances in the alleyway as Kara leads Silvie to her balcony for an innocent kiss or two.

It isn’t long before Kara awakens Silvie`s cheeky side. After a hard day at work, sophisticated and sweetly-spoken Anabela relaxes in her business shirt and tight pencil skirt. Little does she know Kara is ready and waiting to pounce on her for a steamy girl-on-girl romp.

Of course, if these titles aren’t exactly what you’re looking for, we’ve got hundreds of hot lesbian DVDs that you’re going to have to see to believe! If you’re in the mood for something else, be sure to take a look at all of our Porn Categories for just the right flick.

If you’re looking for a fun and unique gift for your lover for the coming holiday season, I have a great suggestion that’s sure to please you both!

The Adult Toybox from For Your Nymphomation is the perfect way to keep you prime your love life for 2010. If you have a trunk full of toys, it’s all you’ll need to set the mood for a night of fun and games.

Feel like a little light kink? Leave this sexy fuax leather case on the bed with a blindfold, feather tickler and handcuffs inside so there’s no doubt what you’re in the mood for! If this is your first foray into sex toys, you can include a couple of our fantastic Toys for Beginners and introduce some new tricks into your game. A a bottle of water-based lube and a pocket rocket would be a great way to start, but there are a ton of options that are great for newbies!

Of course, this case is good for every day storage and absolutely perfect for travel. No one will know what you have lined up for the evening when you check into a hotel with this stylish case full of naughty good times!

Bend Over Beginner Harness Kit

While the recession seems to be coming to an end, lots of people are still looking for a good bargain, so I thought I would highlight some of my favorite strap-on kits available. While you can obviously buy a separate harness and dildo, you can save a little money by picking up one of these high quality kits.

The Bend Over Beginner Harness Kit from Tantus is great for those of you who are new to strap-on play and unsure where to start. My favorite thing about it is that you get two medical grade silicone cocks to grow with!

The kit features a velvet harness which is comfortable, adjustable (fits up to 60 inch hips), and machine washable. It also comes with an O-ring that can be changed for play with larger dildos as well as a pocket built in that fits a bullet vibe (included). The pocket holds the vibrator in place and allows access to the controls throughout your strap-on experience.

The Bend Over Beginner Kit has two smooth 100% silicone dildos, 7/8 x 4-1/2 and 1-1/4 x 5-1/2 so you can pace your exploration with comfort and safety.

Another great kit is the Bikini Harness and Silicone Dildo Set from Sportsheets. It’s really great for women who want to wield a cock like a bad ass femme fatale because the cut is totally cute.

If you’re looking for a comfortable harness and an quality cock, you need to take a look at the Sportsheets’ Bikini Harness and Dildo Set. The adjustable black harness is built for comfort and accomodates up to a 52 inch waist. Also included is a body safe fuchsia silicone dildo that is non-porous and phthalate-free.

The dong is five inches long, with a 1.25 inch diameter and 4 inch circumference. The harness can be used with any dildo that has a diameter of 1.25 inches.

Of course, there are a ton of other great strap-on kits out there, but these are two I think are fantastic because they are well made and both come with phthalate-free silicone cocks that are sure to last a very long time.

Do you ever wish that everyone would just be quiet for a little bit? If you’re looking to silence your partner, may I suggest one of our many ball gags? Whether you’re looking for something for beginners, or for a new treat for your favorite puppy, you’ll find the perfect gag.

First up, let’s start with something for all of those innocent newbies out there. The Beginner Ball Gag from Tantus is the perfect choice if you’re looking for a place to start. While it was designed with beginners in mind, it’s made to last and is something you can enjoy for years to come.

Because silicone is tasteless and odorless, it is ideal for insertion in the mouth. The Beginner Ball Gag is the perfect choice because the outer mouth piece is contoured to fit comfortably (it’s original shape is based on an infant pacifier). The straps are leather that can snap off so you can wash the silicone: it’s boilable, bleachable in a 10% solution and dishwasher safe. Velcro closures on the straps allow for maximum adjustment for head size and ease of fitting.

Of course, if you’re looking for simple, this Ball Gag may be just the item you need to command the respect you deserve.  There are no bells or whistles, just a simple gag to keep your noisy sub in line.

This 1 inch Ball Gag is just big enough to keep most subs quiet. The sturdy Ball is only 1 inch for smaller mouths. The gag is held securely in place with a black strap.

These gags are designed with safety in mind. Simply un-snap and the ball can be easily removed. You can change out the balls without the need to replace the straps.

These ball gags fit from 13 1/2″ to 21″ sized heads. The straps are designed to go under the base of the skull on the back and around to the mouth.

Finally, I have to highlight this hot Dog Bone Bit Gag – it’s perfect for training your new puppy slave.

This 4 1/2in Dog Bone shaped Gag has a leather head strap with buckle to hold it firmly in place. Made of hard rubber, this gag is sturdy enough for even the most difficult pets.

These gags are made with safety in mind. Just unsnap and the bone can be removed, you can change the balls without replacing the straps.

Our small gag fits from 13 1/2″ to 21″ the straps are designed to go under the base of the skull on the back and around to the mouth.

While I’ll avoid making any jokes about giving a dog a bone, I bet there are plenty of people out there just dying to add this one to the mix!

Of course, I will remind you to never leave your partner unattended while wearing a ball gag. Air flow restriction can lead to asphyxiation and that’s no fun for anyone.

Be sure to check out our full selection of Gags for Fetish Play on Sextoys.com!

I’m guessing I’m not the only one who’s already begun their holiday shopping. I’m all about getting things done early because I’d rather snap my own neck then fight some old lady over the last pair of cashmere gloves at Macy’s. If you’re looking for a gift that keeps on giving for that special someone, I can recommend the Kama Sutra Bedside Box from personal experience!

That’s right, one of the perks of my job is trying out stuff so I can better serve you, dear reader. Of course, I do waste my time with a few duds, but this is one I can suggest to anyone who’s looking to increase intimacy. Inside this elegant wooden box you’ll find plenty of goodies like Kama Sutra’s Honey Dust, Spicy Oil of Love, Lubricating Love Liquid and French Vanilla Body Creme. If that’s not enough to keep you busy in the bedroom, I don’t know what is!

My favorite is definitely the Honey Dust, which comes with a cute feather applicator. I took my time running the feather along my partner’s body before licking the sweet dust off. It’s a great reason to linger over a lover for a long time! I also really like the French Vanilla Body Creme. After taking turns giving sensual massages with it, we were both rewarded with sweet kisses for the rest of the night!

Also included is a small bottle of Kama Sutra’s insanely popular Oil of Love. It’s a flavored warming lube that’s more subtle than a lot of products like it. If you love the idea of a warming lube, but have experienced the fear that comes when dabbing one on as your most sensitive bits are suddenly on fire, you might really like this one because it’s not as extreme. I don’t super love the flavor, but there are other options that I hope to try out in the future.

My only issue came when I picked up the Lubricating Love Liquid to discover that it contains Glycerin. I don’t use lube with that ingredient because my body disagrees with it and I’m not a big fan of yeast infections. I passed it on to a male friend who’s used it for solo play and reports back that it stays slippery and cleans up easy – so that’s good news!

Besides being packed full of sexy fun, this gorgeous box is something that you can leave on your nightstand and fill with all sorts of goodies. I’ve added a couple of my favorite lubes and my chapstick to mine! Whether you’re looking to treat yourself or a loved one, this is a great gift!