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Archive for the ‘Toy Reviews’ Category

Review – Intimate Organics Sensual Foam Bath

Thursday, August 20th, 2009

foam-bathWhat girl doesn’t love a bubble bath?  Of course, I know many men that do also, but I’m talking about me here!  When I had the chance to review Initimate Organics Sensual Foam Bath, I jumped on it.

I was immediately impressed when I picked up the bottle and began reading.  I try to make good decisions about what products I buy and was really excited to see that this bubble bath is vegan-friendly, certified organic and paraben-free.  Nothing will ruin a relaxing soak in the tub quicker than the realization that you’re sitting in a toxic stew!

Not one to waste an opportunity, I ran myself a bath, grabbed a book and settled in for a long soak.  My first impression was that this stuff smelled great!  I’m not super girly, so i hate getting out of the tub and smelling like a flower shop.  This product smells like  Cocoa Bean and Goji Berry – and while I have no clue what a Goji Berry even is – I have to say it was very relaxing and left my skin smelling great.

Speaking of my that, I have to say that this stuff left my skin feeling really great.  My girl couldn’t ge enough of me now that my skin was soft and lightly scented.  I loved the fact that the scent wasn’t overwhelming, just a little extra something for anyone I let get close!

To be honest, I’m not sure how much I can really say about bubble bath.  The bubbles stuck around, it smells great and the ingredient list doesn’t send me running for the hills.  I just can’t wait to get my hands on more Initimate Organic products!

Cyberskin Cock and Balls Slimline Review: Q and A With a True Beginner

Thursday, August 20th, 2009

Today’s reviewer is an actual beginner.  She wanted to try a dildo, but never worked up the courage to get one.  Her big hang-up was walking into a store to buy one (hint: we deliver in an inconspicuous package).  So we offered to let her try the Cyberskin Cock and Balls Slimline Dildo from Topco.  To maintain her anonymity, the Experts Team agreed to do a Question and Answer Review.  For the purposes of the review, we’ll call her Alice (her choice).

It’s a first for us, but we think you’ll enjoy it.  So here we go.

One Out of One Newbies Approve

One Out of One Newbies Approve

Experts – What was your first impression of the toy?

Alice – I laughed.  Then I laughed some more.  I opened the package and held it for a minute.  It felt like a real penis.  That was a nice surprise.  I expected it to feel funny.

Experts – What did you think of Cyberskin?

Alice – It was clean. I liked that it was smooth and firm.  It was also flexible and not so stiff that it felt like plastic.  It was like the real thing.  I liked it right away.

Experts – What did you think about the size of the toy?

Alice – That was the part that really surprised me.  I thought it looked large in the package.  I was thinking that I wouldn’t be able to use it.  It is long and a little intimidating.  Let’s just say I was not disappointed in trying to use it.  It was a comfortable fit after a few minutes and I LOVED the way it felt.

Experts – What was the best aspect of the toy?

Alice – There were many good things about it.  I liked the look of it – that turned me on after I got over the initial shock.  I loved the way it felt.  It was very realistic and warmed up as I used it.  I liked the texture.  A lot of the dildos I looked at online had these big, ugly veins and ridges.  This one was more like the real thing.  It wasn’t gross.  And I liked how easy it was to clean.  After I read about Cyberskin I thought cleaning would be difficult.  It wasn’t.  And I used cornstarch on it after it dried before I stored it.  Now I can use it again and again.  I will be using it again ;)

Experts – What could be improved?

Alice – I didn’t find many problems.  The only problem I had was controlling it when it got slippery.  Maybe if they put a handle on it or something.

Experts – Would you use another toy?

Alice – I already ordered a glass dildo. ;)

It’s safe to say this one gets 5 stars.

It’s good to be the intern, Part 2: The New Experience Edition

Tuesday, August 4th, 2009
Ecstasy

Ecstasy

See the first review HERE!

It’s me, the over-valued and under-worked intern with another toy review for you to consider. Or, if you’d prefer a different and slightly more accurate introduction, this is the story of the first thing I’ve ever had shoved up my ass. Either way, what you’re about to read will probably not shock you or stir deep-rooted connections to the human consciousness or anything like that. If, however, it compels you to buy this product (or any one of the other thousands of excellent products we offer, for that matter), then I guess my anal virginity was not lost in vain.

So when Bill sat down at his desk with an inconspicuous brown parcel and a  look on his face, I knew I was in for… something. Calling over a few people, he lined up a row of dildos, dongs, and butt plugs from Adam & Eve and told us each to choose one. “Great,” I thought to myself, “I’m not getting out of this one.” In truth, I probably could have cited any number of reasons to avoid having to take home the 11″ ‘Eve’s Ecstasy’ double-dong that I eventually chose. There’s something about the thought of bringing home a kinky toy to the girlfriend that kicked the angel on my shoulder screaming “NO!” directly in the throat. And so I tossed my new friend into my bag and headed home.

Before I go any further, let’s clear the air a bit. I am, and forever into the foreseeable future will be, a happy and loving heterosexual man (See: Men, Anal Sex Toys and an Odd Question for more details). I also, as I mentioned previously, have a girlfriend who is wonderful in all respects, if only slightly timid in bed.

Looking at the (from my perspective) gigantic pink and purple double-dong (7″x 1″ long side, 4″x1 ½ ” “choad” side, in case you’re wondering) in my hand, waiting for my girlfriend to get home from work, I realized something. This was either going to be the best night of my life or the worst. There would be no shades of grey – I was either going to be pink or purple.  I examined the heads of both shafts – it turns out the entire dong is pretty non-descript. The thin, pink side has a small penis head and the purple side has a larger penis head. A few veins etched into the purple side round out the bells and whistles – this dong is a case of form and function being one.

When my girlfriend (who we’ll call Angela for the sake of humanization) came home we used some toy cleaner on the dong and went straight to the bedroom. A little foreplay eased the mood. Angela’s no stranger to dongs and dildos, but doesn’t particularly like them – something about not being the “real thing.” I was just plain scared. She chose the pink side – the long, thin end – for me, and she took the purple choad for herself. With the  application of a healthy amount of water-based lubricant and a deep breath we each inserted our respective ends into their appropriate orifices in an awkward piledriver-cowgirl position.

Tingle. Tingle. That’s pretty much all I could feel throughout my entire body for the first few seconds. Angela was laughing at my sour face as I tried to comprehend what, exactly, this new sensation was. I imagined that it was 1869 and the laborers of the Transcontinental Railroad had just finished boring their newest rail tunnel in my ass. I frantically wiped the exposed portion of my end with my finger and examined my hand for blood. A sticky, lubricated, yet bloodless hand assuaged my fear that I would forever be a method of crossing the Appalachian Mountains underground.

Maybe next time

Maybe next time

It started to feel good. Gripping the flared dividing point of the toy, I handled the pumping (an easy enough thing to do, for those who’ve not experienced it) back and forth of our new friend between us while Angela jerked me off. I’d love to tell you where all that cum came from. Unfortunately, my eyes were nailed shut in the ecstasy of sexual release so I cannot personally verify that there was not another cock in the room at that time covering just about everything in the room with strings of sticky goo. My hand, too, fell asleep on the job. I’m guessing that Angela picked up the slack because my ass was still being pounded and I soon felt the warm rush of her orgasm on my inner thigh.

When we had finished cleaning the toy a little while later, I asked Angela what she thought about it. She told me that it had made her cum, but it wasn’t thick enough and that she’d prefer the “real thing” any day of the week. I asked if by “real thing” she meant a cock, and the look in her eyes told me that she thought I was an idiot. She then told me I could lie in my review and say she thought it was better than anything else in the world if it would make me look good and help move the product – but I’m not that kind of guy. Her eyes did light up when I told her it was probably the most intense orgasm I ever had, and a smile creepily stretched across her thin lips (which means that our new friend will be a mainstay of our sex life from here on).  Later that night I spent some alone time with the toy. I tried the purple end, and the 1 ½ ” thickness didn’t really feel all that big inside me either. I shot another huge load and pumped it in and out a few times before going to sleep a very happy man.

So… that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Angela and I love our Eve’s Ecstasy and I think you will too if you choose to buy it, dear reader. However, I’m probably not the most-qualified person to recommend a toy that’s traditionally designed for female/female intercourse – or at least meant for anal aficionados of the male variety. I mean, think about it – would you trust a first year economics student to recommend you a stock for your portfolio?  I’ve got no idea how this product compares with other similar products. The cynical/naive part of me is thinking that when it comes to dongs without bells and whistles (twists, ribs, bumps – of those features the Adam and Eve double dong is quite bereft) there really can’t be too much of a difference. All I can tell you about this particular product is that it’s crafted well and serves the purpose for which it’s intended. Anything else I could tell you would be my personal opinion.

If you want that, then I’ll tell you I love this product for the new intimacy it’s brought to my relationship with Angela and its sentimental value for being my first. And maybe (this is for those in heterosexual relationships) if you or your man are anything like me you’ll want to try it after reading my story. Thank you for your time and long live anal play.

Product Review: Gun Oil H2O

Thursday, July 30th, 2009

gunoilHands down, this is the best lube that I have ever used.  I felt like I should get that on the record first, because it only gets better and I figured that those of you who are going to read on should be forewarned that you are about to get the scoop on the best.  Gun Oil H2O as a name conjures up a memory of the movie Full Metal Jacket, where Marine recruits are marching around singing “This is my rifle, this is my gun.”

But don’t let the name fool you, this is a seriously good product that has no faults that I can find.

My first, and most important, rule regarding lubricant is that it doesn’t matter how good it is, if it ruins the sheets, mattress, carpet, or whatever else, it isn’t a viable option.  I’ve had lubes absolutely wreck my sheets before, and that makes them worthless.  If one has to buy new sheets for each lube usage, the lube becomes cost prohibitive.  Gun Oil doesn’t leave a hideous mess on the sheets, and when it does come into contact with the sheets it cleans up easily.  So it passes the first test.

But it gets better.  This lube feels great on contact and is as effective as even silicone lube.  I’m not claiming that it lasts as long as silicone lubricant, but I will say that it lasted long enough not to require multiple applications.  I’ve never found another water based lube that doesn’t require multiple applications.

Being able to concentrate on the fun, without having to reach for the lube is a huge plus mark.  And going back to the feeling, imagine something silky smooth applied to your skin and getting smoother with friction.  That’s what Gun Oil does.

It is perfectly safe for use with a condom and any toy type.  That versatility adds another notch for this gun.  You can use the Gun Oil H2O on your favorite silicone toy and not worry about damage.  And knowing that your condom is safe is a pretty big deal too.  A bigger deal yet is knowing that you won’t find parabens or other unhealthy ingredients in your lube, and Gun Oil doesn’t contain the bad stuff.

It doesn’t present any strong smells either.  Some lubes have that aroma that can kill the moment.  Gun oil doesn’t.  And finally, application is a breeze.  It has enough consistency that you won’t waste much as you apply it.  If you pinch pennies, you’d be happy to know that Ebeneezer Scrooge would give Gun Oil two thumbs up.

As you may know, working in the sex toy business, I get to see many products that are on the market, and try more than a few.  I’ve tried many lubricants.  Like I said at the beginning, Gun Oil H2O is the best, hands down.

Toy Review – Sedeux Skyn Dildo

Monday, July 13th, 2009

skynI have a lot of fancy sex toys, but no matter how many super expensive high tech toys I have in my arsenal, I consistently find myself reaching for the couple of really good basic dildos that I own. While bells and whistles are often nice, sometimes a girl just needs a good silicone cock.

The Sedeux Skyn Dildo is one of those basic dongs that is bound to please time and time again. It’s made out of silicone, which means it’s hypoallergenic, non-porous and phthalate-free, so you don’t have to worry about introducing your body to any harmful elements. What’s even better is that this toy can be sterilized by boiling for a few minutes, so you can feel free to share it.

The Skyn is also really great as a starter dildo, because it’s not too big, but not so small that you’ll be bored with it in a week.  It’s 6.5 inches long with a diameter of 1.25 inches, which is pretty average and something that won’t intimidate sex toy newbies.

The slight upward curve of the shaft does a nice job of stimulating either the g-spot or p-spot, depending on which one you have!  Because of the curve and size, I really like using this dildo with a harness – it’s the perfect size for a good hard pounding.

If you’re looking for a solo toy, the Skyn also has a pretty good suction base, so it’s also perfect for those of you who are looking for a hands free solo ride. I’ve got one suggestion for any new toy peeps out there who are wondering what the benefit of a suction base is – shower wall.

While this is a really basic dong, it’s definitely a good one I can recommend. While I can’t vouch for them like I can this one, Sportsheet has a whole line of Seduex dildos worth taking a peek at.

Review – Sensation Erotic Massage Oil

Tuesday, June 16th, 2009

shungaoilSince I’m all about daily foot rubs, I have a pretty decent collection of massage oil.  Somehow, I never picked up anything by Shunga, so I was really excited when I received a box full of toys and it contained a bottle of their Lavender scented Sensation Erotic Massage Oil.

Of course, massage oil is good for much more than a much needed foot rub at the end of a long day, so I saved this one for a more intimate massage!  In retrospect, that probably could have backfired on me if it turned out this stuff was crap, but fortunately that was not the case.  I’m officially a huge fan of Sensation and might even have to invest in other scents!

The first thing that struck me when i poured a bit into my hands and began to warm it up was the pleasant scent.  I am not a fan of really overwhelming or girly fragrances – but that’s wasn’t a problem.  The subtle scent is really appealing and something women and men can appreciate.

Of course, what you really want to know is how this stuff works.  Let me just tell you that it is fantastic.  After a good rub down, I was pleased to discover that it had left my girl’s skin feeling really soft and smelling fantastic.  Unfortunately, I’ve used lesser oils in the past and nothing sucks more than finding out you’re stuck to the sheets thanks to an inferior product.

There aren’t a lot of ingredients and I can pronounce them all, so I’m going to list them so you know what you’re getting if you decide to follow my advice and get your own bottle:

Cold Pressed Oils (Almond, Grape Seed, Sesame and Avocado), Vitamin E, Ylang-Ylang and fragrance.  That’s it!

Overall, I’m really pleased with this product and will be reaching for it often.  Don’t forget to check out all of the scents – you’re sure to find one that’s perfect for you!

Toy Review – Liberte

Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009

liberteNothing beats the UPS dude showing up with a box full of new toys to review and my latest shipment included the Liberte – a g-spot vibrator from Candida Royalle’s Natural Contours line.

This multi-speed vibe is made from phthalates-free plastic that is very smooth.  If you’re new to toy play, this one is great because it offers plenty of options (three speeds, and one escalation pattern) that are all accessible with the use of one simple button.  Push it once and it turns on, push it again to scroll through the higher speeds and to access the orgasm inducing escalation.  There’s nothing worse than trying to figure out how to use some high tech vibe when you’re just looking to get off and get on with your day!

What really sets this vibe apart for me is the smart design.  The contoured shape makes it really easy to hit your g-spot and experience pure ecstacy.  I love that it takes all of the guess work out of g-spot play.  While it’s not the most powerful toy in my collection, the buzz is more than adequate to take you to the moon.

The Liberte is almost 8 inches long and has a circumference of 3.5 inches at it’s widest point.  Because it’s made out of plastic, it’s compatible with both water and silicone-based lubricant.  And this may seem silly, but one of my favorite things about this particular vibe is that it comes with batteries!  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve picked up the tv remote to remember that I’d stolen the batteries for one of my toys.  It’s the little things, people…

Overall, the Liberte is a cheap and reliable toy that’s great for beginners or all of you who can appreciate the simple things in life.

It’s good to be the intern!

Wednesday, May 27th, 2009

We were looking for some fresh perspective on a realistic vagina (I had the pleasure of testing April Flores’ life-like vagina), and after one chicken out, we found an intern who was ready to go.  We think he did so well with it that we’ve renamed him Official Semi Permanent Toy Testing Intern.  As you can tell, we had fun with his recounting and we think you will too.  So we’ll let him have at it on the blog.

From the desk of THE Official Semi Permanent Toy Testing Intern:

Fucking Roxy Reynolds

The photo

The photo

When our research analyst Bill walked up behind us and said: “One of you interns is doing a review,” the eager go-getter in me greedily volunteered. Spinning ‘round in my chair, I came face to face with a face full of Roxy Reynold’s gorgeous chocolate derriere. “Congratulations, it’s your lucky day,” Bill said with a smile. “Make sure you don’t use an oil-based lube, it’ll melt your toy.”

Sensing that I had perhaps bitten off more than I was capable of chewing, I slipped the heavy parcel under my desk, concealing it in a dark plastic trash bag for the commute home. As soon as I got home I cracked open the box. The first thing that struck me about the CyberSkin material was its life-like movement. Slapping Roxy’s plump posterior sent a satisfying jiggle through the whole toy, solidifying the realization that I would soon be fucking her pussy and ass. I had some time to kill before our bedroom date, so I popped in the DVD (which does not include a case or sleeve, my only gripe ((more of a pet-peeve)) with the product) included in the box.

Despite the fact that it was a soft core video, the included 75-minute “Roxy’s World” was a pleasant surprise. While the sex scenes were your usual soft core fair, the scenes of Roxy and her girls were actually pretty entertaining – and the song that they record and perform is hilarious and definitely worth checking out. For busting a nut though, I needed to grab one of her scenes off of Hotmovies.com and assume the position. And bust a nut I did…

Fucking Roxy’s ass is certainly an experience. While I’ve fucked traditional pocket pussies made with phthalates, her CyberSkin holes are an entirely different beast all together. Filling her with a generous amount of lubricant, I dipped my pole into that rollin’ blackwater. The wonder material instantly and perfectly ensconced my cock. Warming with the kinetic friction of every stroke, Roxy hit and retained the temperature of an actual living female even when I changed holes. The combination of this warmth and the toy’s ribbed form-holding interior proved to be a winning one but creaming up the CyberSkin facsimile of Roxy Reynolds wasn’t even the best part. After I shot my load I let my cock slowly pulse itself flaccid inside of it and the material responded by contracting in turn. It’s 100% true that never will a p-in-the-vagee moment go by when this pussy is not virgin-tight.

Cleaning the toy was a breeze – soap and water flushed through the cleaning holes and a cotton rag did the job. Examining the toy as I cleaned it revealed the secret of the two cleaning holes. Both the vagina and ass have channels leading to both main love tunnels; two paths taking deep courses into the meat of the toy end at the lower cleaning hole while the other two routes stay along the crack of the ass and allow entry from a shallower degree for a total of four unique angles from which to fuck the porn star in nearly every position. As for the physical condition of the toy afterward, it was clear that her cherry had been popped but otherwise Roxy’s CyberSkin was no worse for wear. Many subsequent fucks followed by prompt and thorough cleanings resulted in no visible deterioration, but after Bill’s warning and some research on CyberSkin.com I decided to leave the unit lubed-up for a night to see what would happen. The next morning, there was some slight visible deterioration of the material. I quickly cleaned it and used the recommended process for applying their rejuvenating solution, aptly named Renew, which was also included in the box. For storage, US-based manufacturer Adam and Eve suggests an opaque plastic bag with a dose of Renew placed in a cool, dry place.

As far as lifelike goods go, Roxy’s meticulously hand-painted CyberSkin pussy and ass are second-to-none. Taking a snapshot with my cell, I sent the image to a bunch of my friends with the tag “my new gf’s goods” and only one person responded with “that’s not real.” The quality and durability of the CyberSkin ensure that, with prompt and proper cleaning and the avoidance of oil-based and “mineral oil” lubricants, this toy can last a lifetime. And, because the toy is phthalate-free, a long-term relationship with this porn star won’t adversely affect your health or damage your fertile seed. This is a good thing, of course, as you’ll want to fuck Roxy over and over for a long time. I know I will be!

Review: Tantus Beginner’s Cock Ring

Thursday, May 21st, 2009

This little guy is about as simple a sex toy as you could ask for, but for adding the extra oomph to play time, I have to rank it as a heavyweight.  The Tantus Beginner’s Cock Ring is an awesome addition to the collection.  And this is a great time to discuss how to properly use a cock ring as well.  So I’ll tell you how awesome this one is, but I’ll start with how to use it (you would be amazed at the number of people who ask us how to use a cock ring).

tantusbeginnerFirst, because this is a silicone cock ring, it does have some “give” to it, which makes it quite easy to use and unlike metal cock rings, adds a huge safety factor.  I have never had a metal ring crisis, but reading about one once made me realize that for beginners, silicone is the safest bet for cock ring use. 

To wear it, all you have to do is place one testicle inside, and then loop it over your other testicle.  Now the next point is up for personal preference.  I prefer to be semi-flaccid, not hard, but not flaccid either when I pull the cock ring over my penis.  This applies only to silicone rings.  No way can you get a metal ring over an erect penis, without doing some damage somewhere around your jewels.

There is a picture on Wikipedia that shows how a cock ring (albeit metal) fits on a man.

Once on, the erection can – and will – go full.  Nothing for me feels quite as sexy as a gift wrapped erection!  But aesthetics are only a small bit of the fun.  First, the cock ring serves to keep the erection powerful for longer by restricting blood flow.  Don’t get the image of a tourniquet, it isn’t like that!  It just helps to keep things solid.

But the real payoff is the ejaculation.  If you think you’ve had a volcanic experience without one, with this little gem, it can last for up to a minute, which in sex terms is like about ten thousand years.  This one actually had me shocked at how intense the orgasm and ejaculation went for me.

I wholeheartedly endorse this product and suggest that if you haven’t ever used a cock ring, this is an excellent one to start your experiment.  You’ll love the way it feels.

You can even add the Tantus Beginner’s Cock Ring to your wish list of up to $1,000 worth of toys for FREE in Ginger Leigh’s Fabulous Shopping Spree!

For 5/21/2008: Tell us why your boy deserves a toy in the comments to this post, and you could win this Prize! Comments must be entered before 4:30 PM EDT!

Review: Lust Loops

Sunday, May 17th, 2009
Lust Loops

Lust Loops

Take a good look at the picture in this post.  If your subject is any larger than this woman, especially if she is well endowed with large breasts, this toy is not what you want.  The idea of Lust Loops is sound, and it looks as though they do have the potential to make things fun.  But their small size makes them impractical for much more than a good fantasy.

Construction on these is solid.  There is a firm inner core that allows them to hold shape quite well.  The cuffs are padded and lock with velcro.  This locking mechanism holds firm and can withstand even my efforts to snatch free of them.  So if your subject is the correct size, these are a firm, good option for some warm up play.

They are designed to force the subject into a standing position (not what you see in the picture) and to bend over in a perfect position for a spanking.  You can also place the ankles in the outer loops to give a spread leg sense to the subject.  They are not wide enough, though, to serve as first line leg spreaders.

Our experience was that the loops did not work for my subject.  Her body was not suited to any of the positions that the lust loops are designed to produce.  And, so you know, she isn’t a BBW, but a normal sized person.  She just could not maintain her balance, and almost fell on her face twice.  So the Lust Loops were a scratch for our session.

If you have a smaller subject, these may be a good option as a variation from the usual.  Otherwise, get a regular spreader bar and improvise.