You will need these

If you’ve read this blog for a while, you know that we are big fans of research in many subjects.  Our goal is to provide information to you that improves your understanding of sexual health and the positive benefits of healthy sexuality.  But every once in a while, we stumble across a “duh” moment from the world of science that makes us scratch our heads and ask why they even bothered.

A headline from Health Magazine led to just such an occassion this weekend.  The article was titled “When It Comes to Casual Sex, Men Aren’t so Picky.”  If ever there was a “duh” moment, there you have it.  Apparently researchers spent time and money to prove the most obvious assertion I’ve read in a while.

Here is the crux of the study:

“The 427 men were more likely than the 433 women to agree to casual sex, and the men expressed a greater desire for it than women. The study also found that the men were more likely to go out, go to the apartment, and go to bed with members of the opposite sex in all three categories of attractiveness.

Men needed to be exceptionally attractive to tempt women to consider casual sex, said Dr. Achim Schutzwohl, of the department of psychology at the University of Brunel in the U.K., and colleagues.”

Now that we’ve cleared that up, I know I’ll sleep easier.  If you’re going to engage in casual sex, remember to have your condom at the ready.  Good grief but those scientists must have been bored…

This is not a Bonobo

As some of you may have figured out by now, we never get tired of talking about orgasms.  And following up on a post about Immaculate Orgasms, I found more information about how to get things going, so to speak.  Some of you may remember that I was stunned by the fact that visualizing a walk on the beach could lead to an orgasmic experience.

Well, thank goodness scientific resources are being dedicated to help us understand these things.  Women’s Health recently published a story about what turns women on.  You can read the full article here.  This is the excerpt I found most interesting:

“One of the most intriguing research nuggets to emerge: While male sexuality is fairly predictable—they tend to be aroused by naked women and naked women hooking up with other naked women—female sexuality is stimulated by a surprisingly wide array of turn-ons. Meredith Chivers, Ph. D., an assistant professor of psychology at Queens University in Kingston, Ontario, calls this “the nonspecificity of women’s sexual arousal.” Chivers created a buzz with a study in which she showed both men and women a variety of sexually explicit images—nude male and female bodies, heterosexual and homosexual sex, and sex between bonobos (a particularly frisky species of ape)—while measuring physiological signs of genital arousal as well as their subjective feelings of desire.

For the guys, the findings were straightforward enough: The straight men in the study were physically aroused by women, gay men were aroused by men, and neither group felt any stirrings for the apes. The men’s physical reactions (erections) were in agreement with what they reported being turned on by.”

We’re getting closer to the point here.  Of course guys are fairly predictable, and my guess is a couple of them had to ponder calculus equations during the Bonobo scenes to keep from giving the wrong impressions.  It doesn’t take much to stir a guy’s feelings, or terminate them in a heartbeat.  But what about women?  The article continues.

“The women in Chivers’s study were aroused by all the images—but that doesn’t mean they desired to have sex with the people (or animals) they saw. “Women have the capacity to get turned on by a broad range of things,” she says. “This is normal and not necessarily a challenge to sexual identity.”

While it may not challenge sexual identities, it can definitely confuse a partner.  Some of you may wonder where I’m heading with all of this.  I’m heading back to square one, where we always head when things get confusing.

Sexuality and arousal are among the most individual aspects of a person.  I mean, the idea of visualizing a beach for orgasm stunned me.  But on the other hand, what arouses me might raise a few eyebrows.  Sure, you can ask, but I won’t tell here.

And since sex is usually two people getting together for a good time, that means that two individuals have to synchronize their desires if everyone is going to have fun.  That means communication and patience are a big part of making sure a good sexual relationship can happen.  With such diverse points of arousal, men and women need to communicate openly and honestly to get the most from sex.

Or, you can just go solo, visualizing a Bonobo on the beach.  Personally, I’d rather talk things through.

Most people with a pulse who read our blog will recall our discussion of Extended Massive Orgasm.  And that was a fun subject to cover.  But today I’m going to add a twist with Immaculate Orgasm.  That’s right, an orgasm that requires no physical stimulation is possible.

From Esquire:

“The Kinsey Institute reported that out of more than 5,000 men surveyed, three to four males could do it while awake, compared with 2 percent of females. Neuroscientist Barry R. Komisaruk has found there is little physical difference between tactile and transcendental orgasms in women. (He hasn’t studied men.) No one’s sure how it happens, but some of the women he observes don’t employ erotic visions at all, preferring “fantasies of pastoral scenes, walking on the beach.”

Use this when you cannot imagine a beach

Seriously?  A walk on the beach is orgasmic?  On the bright side, this is yet one more way to achieve orgasm, and we like it when more options are available to make us happy.

Of course, you can always use a dildo when your imagination fails!

Orgasm can release some stress, but expert Joey Garcia says that it isn’t all that great as a strategy to eliminate stress.  In fact, the opposite is true.  In an article in News Review, Garcia says that using sex as a stress reducer can lead to some serious problems in a relationship.

From the full article:

“Sexual activity does reduce stress, but using sex as anti-stress medicine will take a toll on your relationship. The purpose of sexual activity is to connect intimately with your partner, deepening your capacity for passion, love and self-giving. But under stress, sex can quickly become an addiction, dehumanizing your partner and reducing your ability to connect intimately with her or him. A healthy romantic relationship that includes consistent intimacy on all levels is the right preparation against stress.”

And as we’ve mentioned in recent posts, many Americans find that sex toys are an integral part of a healthy sexual relationship.  Check out our complete line of Sex Toys for Couples to find the toy that is right for you and your partner.

Bill talked about a recent study Center for Sexual Health Promotion in Indiana University’s School of Health, Physical Education and Recreation in an earlier post, but I just finally got around to checking it out and wanted to talk about it again.

My favorite thing to come out of this study is the high percentage of men who reported using a vibrator at one time or another:

The male and female studies, conducted among adult Americans, show 45 percent of men saying they’ve used a vibrator, with most of the heterosexual men surveyed saying they had done so during foreplay or intercourse with a female partner.

I don’t know much about doing it with men, but I’m glad to hear that almost half of all men have no problem bringing a vibe into the bedroom. I think the ladies reading this will almost unanimously agree that sex is better with a little buzz!