Flexi Felix Anal Toy

A common question that relates to adult play asks whether or not anal stimulation can lead to orgasm.  We’ve covered all kinds of orgasms in this blog, from what seem to be random orgasms, to Extended Massive Orgasm.  And as regular readers know, different people will experience stimulation in many different ways.  Orgasms can occur because of a variety of stimulations.

But can you achieve an anal orgasm because of anal stimulation.  Our answer?  Sure, why couldn’t you have an orgasm because of anal stimulation?

As we covered in our discussion of analingus, not all anal stimulation is safe, so you have to be careful when you engage in anal play or anal sex.  But most anal stimulation is perfectly safe, provided you take the proper precautions for you and your partner.  Let’s go over a few points to keep things fun.

Anal Sex – Basic Steps for Fun and Safety

First, everyone has to relax.  Your first anal experience should be an easy, comfortable time.  Going straight from never having had anal sex to full blown penetration could turn into a painful lesson in patience.  Taking a few steps one by one is a good plan for your first time.  Relaxing could be as simple as a good massage, lots of foreplay and even a tasty adult beverage before you get started.  Once everyone is “in the groove,” you can proceed to experimenting.

Next, have a good supply of lubricant on hand.  The anus provides no natural lubrication, so you need to use as much lube as it takes to make things comfortable (that amount will vary from one person to the next).  If you are using latex gloves or condoms, make sure that you ONLY use a water-based lubricant.  If you use oil or silicone based lube on latex, you’ll be in for a melting, gooey surprise.

Why would latex gloves be involved?  Easy, you might want to get your partner used to anal stimulation gently.  Using a single finger for gentle penetration allows your partner to get used to the sensation.  Another option is to get an anal beginner’s kit that has graduated anal plugs so that you can take your time and go easy.

Juli Ashton Anal Beginner Kit

One other important idea: Masturbating your partner, or having your partner masturbate as you experiment with these sensations allows your partner to create an association between anal sex and orgasm.  This can lead to even more intense orgasms as the anal stimulation becomes more familiar.

Those are the standard rules for getting started.  Now we’ll break things up a little for women and men.  The approaches can be different for either sex, so we’ll separate them to make it simple.

Anal Sex Ideas for Women

Four Seasons Condoms

Once you’ve taken the time to become accustomed to anal stimulation, you’ll probably want to branch into anal sex. Most people automatically assume that this means hit the hands and knees and go straight to doggie style anal sex.  Often, that’s the worst way to get started.  Women might want to start anal sex in a classic “Cowgirl” position, where the woman is on top and in control of the penetration.

Missionary is also another great option for anal sex.  It limits the depth of penetration, and it’s definitely more intimate than doggie style as you and your partner try a whole new experience.  Again, during anal sex it is perfectly fine to masturbate, and some people swear by Bullets to achieve intense, body shaking orgasms.

You may find that you don’t need a bullet or masturbation.  It is quite possible to have an orgasm with only anal stimulation alone.  There are no rules, other than to be safe and have fun.

And if things get uncomfortable, just stop and come back to it another time!

Anal Sex Ideas for Men

Your new best friend Bob

You’re too macho for back door play, eh?  All that tells us is that you haven’t had a prostate massage induced orgasm.  Have one of those and get back to us on the macho stuff (we suspect you’ll be asking our experts which prostate massager is right for you).  Anal stimulation is great for women, but some men just can’t get enough either.

Some gay and bisexual men enjoy anal play together, but you don’t have to be gay or bisexual to enjoy anal stimulation.  The growing number of men buying strap ons tells us that straight men have caught on to the joys of anal sex too.  Now, here’s where we find a common bickering point.  Is there a difference between an anal orgasm and a prostate orgasm?  Do you really care?  We don’t.

If something is safe and makes you come, it doesn’t really matter what caused it scientifically.  Guys, you differ from women slightly.  The prostate is just inside your anus, right above your perineum (the area between your scrotum and anus).  It pays to be careful around the prostate.  If you’re going to have your partner use fingers for warm up, watch out for fingernails!  And remember that the prostate is sensitive.

Prostate massagers can give you a knee buckling, drooling and mind numbing orgasm like you’ve never experienced.  If your partner learns how to manipulate one to please you, be careful.  She’ll have the power to make you her love slave.  The rules on prostate massage are pretty simple.  If you have prostate issues, don’t do it.  Otherwise, you’ll want gentle, steady strokes on your prostate until you come.  It takes varying times, but if you’re patient, you’ll get the big prize.

Take a break from being the big doggie and give her some fun too

Same as with anal sex, you can masturbate during anal stimulation to get the best of both worlds.  In fact, you can folow the same rules as a woman.  Heck, give her a strap on, lube up, grab a masturbator and get completely freaky.  You can use your imagination to have a ball.  Plus, she might like a break from the mundane and an opportunity to play the role of Big Doggie!

Enjoy it, and if it gets uncomfortable, stop and come back to it later.

So we know anal orgasm is possible.  We know anal sex can be perfectly safe.  We know that many people enjoy it all the time.  All that’s left is for you to get busy enjoying it!

This is a G Spot sex toy

So the debate rages on about whether or not the G Spot exists.  From our standpoint, while the empirical data may be less than overwhelming, the number of G Spot sex toys that are manufactured and sold make a solid practical argument that someone is getting stimulation from the area Dr. Grafenberg first discussed. But once in a while, it’s good to look at recent discussions on the subject, especially if you want to experiment with this popular form of stimulation.

A recent article contained this sentence as its thesis: “Unlike men, women can orgasm in many different ways.”  It then went on to list different anatomical features like, clitoris, vagina and G Spot.  People who have read our work know that the article was then tossed aside.  The reason?  The clitoris and G Spot (such as it is considered to exist) are parts of the vagina!  Why go through all of the complex possible permutations when one fact stands out?  That fact is that each person finds a specific stimulation satisfying and can achieve orgasm through it.

Of all of the big mistakes a person can make, over-complicating sexual sensations is one of the biggest that can damage adult play time fun.

WebMD has a great section on this subject, which we think summarizes the argument over the G Spot very well:

“Prosterman and others point out the importance of thinking of the G-spot in context — that it may be an extension of the clitoral anatomy, which extends back into the vaginal canal. Kerner writes that the G-spot may be ‘nothing more than the roots of the clitoris crisscrossing the urethral sponge.’

Helen O’Connell, MD, head of the neurourology and continence unit at the Royal Melbourne Hospital Department of Urology in Australia, says, ‘The G-spot has a lot in common with Freud’s idea of vaginal orgasms. It is a sexual concept, this time anatomical, that results in confusion and has resulted in the misconception that female sexuality is extremely complex.’”

The article also contains this:

A G Spot sex toy for couples

“In the end, whether this debated locus of pleasure is fact or fiction may not matter that much. O’Connell, who is also co-author of a 2005 Journal of Urology study on the anatomy of the clitoris, says that focusing on the G-spot to the exclusion of the rest of a woman’s body is ‘a bit like stimulating a guy’s testicles without touching the penis and expecting an orgasm to occur just because love is present.’ She says focusing on the inside of the vagina to the exclusion of the clitoris is ‘unlikely to bring about orgasm. It is best to think of the clitoris, urethra, and vagina as one unit because they are intimately related.’”

Ok, so what is the G Spot and where is it?  The G Spot is an area which many women claim, if stimulated properly, can lead to intense orgasm.  What it is, we aren’t qualified to say, though the base of the clitoris sounds like a good guess, since the clitoris can have a shaft of one to three inches and the G Spot is generally agreed to be located two to three inches inside the vagina on the upper wall.

Do you have a G Spot?  That’s the question that you must answer.  Experimenting with sensations is a great way to see whether or not this area adds something more to your orgasm experience.  As we mentioned before, there are many quality G Spot sex toys designed to create that type of stimulation.

Let’s say for the sake of discussion that someone scientifically proves that the G Spot is a myth.  If you achieve intense orgasms by stimulating the area one to three inches inside on the vagina’s upper wall, does it matter?  Learning what works for you is an art, not a science.

So enjoy your next orgasm, wherever you find it.  And don’t be afraid to experiment.  Why should you be, it isn’t exactly a science!

In the meantime

Yes, you read the title correctly.  It seems that researchers have found a way to eliminate the need for condoms and the results could be a paradigm shift in women’s sexual health.  What if women could protect themselves in a simple way without needing a partner’s (consentual or otherwise) permission?  In some places, that sounds like a stupid statement.  In others, it’s a matter of life and death.

From Newsweek:

“A new, more-promising iteration of the long-heralded HIV-blocking vaginal gel may one day become a reality, according to a study published online yesterday in the journal Advanced Functional Materials. But as the dream product crawls towards the marketplace, scientists worry that the biggest challenge—getting women to actually use it, or any gel like it—still lies ahead.

Unlike previous versions of microbicide, the latest gel functions more like an actual condom. It’s applied via applicator in the hour or so before sex and turns semisolid in the presence of semen, physically blocking HIV (and theoretically, other viruses and semen, too) from moving through the vagina in the first place. (The gel dissolves after sex.) “It’s the first microbicide of its kind,” says Patrick Kiser, a bioengineer at the University of Utah and the study’s lead author. “It prevents the virus from even touching the vaginal tissue.” The novel polymer concoction could see its first clinical trial in three years and if all goes well, be available for widespread use a few years after that.

The need for HIV-prevention methods that women can control is undeniably urgent. Women account for half of all HIV infections globally; in sub-Saharan Africa, where the disease is most prevalent, they make up 60 percent of cases. The reason is simple: women in the region lack the power to compel their sexual partners to wear condoms. For a decade now, scientists have been working to develop an HIV-blocking vaginal gel, a microbicide often called a molecular condom. This form of protection could be employed without the consent of a partner and has long been seen as the best hope for empowering women to protect themselves.”

In the meantime, we strongly suggest the use of a condom for protection.

You will need these

If you’ve read this blog for a while, you know that we are big fans of research in many subjects.  Our goal is to provide information to you that improves your understanding of sexual health and the positive benefits of healthy sexuality.  But every once in a while, we stumble across a “duh” moment from the world of science that makes us scratch our heads and ask why they even bothered.

A headline from Health Magazine led to just such an occassion this weekend.  The article was titled “When It Comes to Casual Sex, Men Aren’t so Picky.”  If ever there was a “duh” moment, there you have it.  Apparently researchers spent time and money to prove the most obvious assertion I’ve read in a while.

Here is the crux of the study:

“The 427 men were more likely than the 433 women to agree to casual sex, and the men expressed a greater desire for it than women. The study also found that the men were more likely to go out, go to the apartment, and go to bed with members of the opposite sex in all three categories of attractiveness.

Men needed to be exceptionally attractive to tempt women to consider casual sex, said Dr. Achim Schutzwohl, of the department of psychology at the University of Brunel in the U.K., and colleagues.”

Now that we’ve cleared that up, I know I’ll sleep easier.  If you’re going to engage in casual sex, remember to have your condom at the ready.  Good grief but those scientists must have been bored…

This is not a Bonobo

As some of you may have figured out by now, we never get tired of talking about orgasms.  And following up on a post about Immaculate Orgasms, I found more information about how to get things going, so to speak.  Some of you may remember that I was stunned by the fact that visualizing a walk on the beach could lead to an orgasmic experience.

Well, thank goodness scientific resources are being dedicated to help us understand these things.  Women’s Health recently published a story about what turns women on.  You can read the full article here.  This is the excerpt I found most interesting:

“One of the most intriguing research nuggets to emerge: While male sexuality is fairly predictable—they tend to be aroused by naked women and naked women hooking up with other naked women—female sexuality is stimulated by a surprisingly wide array of turn-ons. Meredith Chivers, Ph. D., an assistant professor of psychology at Queens University in Kingston, Ontario, calls this “the nonspecificity of women’s sexual arousal.” Chivers created a buzz with a study in which she showed both men and women a variety of sexually explicit images—nude male and female bodies, heterosexual and homosexual sex, and sex between bonobos (a particularly frisky species of ape)—while measuring physiological signs of genital arousal as well as their subjective feelings of desire.

For the guys, the findings were straightforward enough: The straight men in the study were physically aroused by women, gay men were aroused by men, and neither group felt any stirrings for the apes. The men’s physical reactions (erections) were in agreement with what they reported being turned on by.”

We’re getting closer to the point here.  Of course guys are fairly predictable, and my guess is a couple of them had to ponder calculus equations during the Bonobo scenes to keep from giving the wrong impressions.  It doesn’t take much to stir a guy’s feelings, or terminate them in a heartbeat.  But what about women?  The article continues.

“The women in Chivers’s study were aroused by all the images—but that doesn’t mean they desired to have sex with the people (or animals) they saw. “Women have the capacity to get turned on by a broad range of things,” she says. “This is normal and not necessarily a challenge to sexual identity.”

While it may not challenge sexual identities, it can definitely confuse a partner.  Some of you may wonder where I’m heading with all of this.  I’m heading back to square one, where we always head when things get confusing.

Sexuality and arousal are among the most individual aspects of a person.  I mean, the idea of visualizing a beach for orgasm stunned me.  But on the other hand, what arouses me might raise a few eyebrows.  Sure, you can ask, but I won’t tell here.

And since sex is usually two people getting together for a good time, that means that two individuals have to synchronize their desires if everyone is going to have fun.  That means communication and patience are a big part of making sure a good sexual relationship can happen.  With such diverse points of arousal, men and women need to communicate openly and honestly to get the most from sex.

Or, you can just go solo, visualizing a Bonobo on the beach.  Personally, I’d rather talk things through.

Most people with a pulse who read our blog will recall our discussion of Extended Massive Orgasm.  And that was a fun subject to cover.  But today I’m going to add a twist with Immaculate Orgasm.  That’s right, an orgasm that requires no physical stimulation is possible.

From Esquire:

“The Kinsey Institute reported that out of more than 5,000 men surveyed, three to four males could do it while awake, compared with 2 percent of females. Neuroscientist Barry R. Komisaruk has found there is little physical difference between tactile and transcendental orgasms in women. (He hasn’t studied men.) No one’s sure how it happens, but some of the women he observes don’t employ erotic visions at all, preferring “fantasies of pastoral scenes, walking on the beach.”

Use this when you cannot imagine a beach

Seriously?  A walk on the beach is orgasmic?  On the bright side, this is yet one more way to achieve orgasm, and we like it when more options are available to make us happy.

Of course, you can always use a dildo when your imagination fails!

Orgasm can release some stress, but expert Joey Garcia says that it isn’t all that great as a strategy to eliminate stress.  In fact, the opposite is true.  In an article in News Review, Garcia says that using sex as a stress reducer can lead to some serious problems in a relationship.

From the full article:

“Sexual activity does reduce stress, but using sex as anti-stress medicine will take a toll on your relationship. The purpose of sexual activity is to connect intimately with your partner, deepening your capacity for passion, love and self-giving. But under stress, sex can quickly become an addiction, dehumanizing your partner and reducing your ability to connect intimately with her or him. A healthy romantic relationship that includes consistent intimacy on all levels is the right preparation against stress.”

And as we’ve mentioned in recent posts, many Americans find that sex toys are an integral part of a healthy sexual relationship.  Check out our complete line of Sex Toys for Couples to find the toy that is right for you and your partner.

Bill talked about a recent study Center for Sexual Health Promotion in Indiana University’s School of Health, Physical Education and Recreation in an earlier post, but I just finally got around to checking it out and wanted to talk about it again.

My favorite thing to come out of this study is the high percentage of men who reported using a vibrator at one time or another:

The male and female studies, conducted among adult Americans, show 45 percent of men saying they’ve used a vibrator, with most of the heterosexual men surveyed saying they had done so during foreplay or intercourse with a female partner.

I don’t know much about doing it with men, but I’m glad to hear that almost half of all men have no problem bringing a vibe into the bedroom. I think the ladies reading this will almost unanimously agree that sex is better with a little buzz!

Smart Balls

Use the three words “Extended Massive Orgasm” anywhere near our building, and you’ll have an experts team with sonar, doppler radar, x-rays and listening devices homing in on your position.  As anyone who has read our blog for any period of time knows, we concentrate on trying to provide you the information you need to achieve the best orgasms.  So when we hear about massive ones, we want in on the data.

This information comes from, of all places, Fox News’ Sex Expert.  What is it lately with the water in New York? First the Wall Street Journal and now Fox News are writing sex articles and research?  Something must be going on up there.  Anyway, the Fox Sexpert, Yvonne K. Fulbright, has an article out about Extended Massive Orgasm.

Much of it is common sense that we have reported before.  For instance, communication, self knowledge, touching in the right way, relaxation and taking your time are all important to achieving the best orgasm.  And she points out what our expert Sarah always talks about, keep loads of lube on hand for the long haul.  But she added a point which we found fascinating.

We know that pelvic excersises are important to sexual health. But we hadn’t completely tied the exercises in to orgasm.  Here’s Ms. Fulbright’s take:

“Develop your pelvic floor muscles. Exercising your pubbococcygeus (PC) muscle will put you more in tune with your sexual response. It’s also what makes for more powerful orgasms. Your PCs can be engaged as you’re being stimulated.”

So there you have it.  We did some more checking and research supports her claim.  So get your pelvic exerciser at the ready and prepare for Extended Massive Orgasm!

Waterproof Jack Rabbit

We’re giving a big hat tip to Cory Silverberg at About.com who caught this research in the Journal of Sexual Medicine.  We’ve reported on sex toy use in the past, but finding reliable numbers has been difficult.  Many researchers work with sexual function, STI’s, reproductive health and other sexuality issues.  But few focus on how sexual health and well being can be enhanced with sex toys.

Fortunately, Mr. Silverberg wrote up a great summary about this new research, and we found it to be good information.   Here’s one sample of his summary:

“The researchers compared vibrator users and non-vibrator users on several measures of sexual functioning (asking questions about things like erectile function, intercourse satisfaction, pain, orgasm, lubrication, and sexual desire). Overall men and women who used vibrators reported fewer problems with sexual function. And people who used vibrators more recently (the past month) responded to surveys in a way that indicated fewer problems with sexual function.”

Like we always remind our readers, if you have a problem with sexual dysfunction, don’t spend too much time looking for answers on the internet.  Find a licensed clinical specialist who can help you overcome the problem.  Some sexual dysfunction is also related to more serious medical issues.

But it is interesting to know that vibrator use corresponds directly to sexual health in this study.  As more and more people come to see the value of sex toys as sexual health enhancements, we hope to see more studies supporting their use.  Not to mention, if your sex life is in a rut, you can definitely turn it around with good vibrator usage!

Check out our complete line of vibrators, and get going on a healthier, happier sex life.