Flexi Felix Anal Toy

A common question that relates to adult play asks whether or not anal stimulation can lead to orgasm.  We’ve covered all kinds of orgasms in this blog, from what seem to be random orgasms, to Extended Massive Orgasm.  And as regular readers know, different people will experience stimulation in many different ways.  Orgasms can occur because of a variety of stimulations.

But can you achieve an anal orgasm because of anal stimulation.  Our answer?  Sure, why couldn’t you have an orgasm because of anal stimulation?

As we covered in our discussion of analingus, not all anal stimulation is safe, so you have to be careful when you engage in anal play or anal sex.  But most anal stimulation is perfectly safe, provided you take the proper precautions for you and your partner.  Let’s go over a few points to keep things fun.

Anal Sex – Basic Steps for Fun and Safety

First, everyone has to relax.  Your first anal experience should be an easy, comfortable time.  Going straight from never having had anal sex to full blown penetration could turn into a painful lesson in patience.  Taking a few steps one by one is a good plan for your first time.  Relaxing could be as simple as a good massage, lots of foreplay and even a tasty adult beverage before you get started.  Once everyone is “in the groove,” you can proceed to experimenting.

Next, have a good supply of lubricant on hand.  The anus provides no natural lubrication, so you need to use as much lube as it takes to make things comfortable (that amount will vary from one person to the next).  If you are using latex gloves or condoms, make sure that you ONLY use a water-based lubricant.  If you use oil or silicone based lube on latex, you’ll be in for a melting, gooey surprise.

Why would latex gloves be involved?  Easy, you might want to get your partner used to anal stimulation gently.  Using a single finger for gentle penetration allows your partner to get used to the sensation.  Another option is to get an anal beginner’s kit that has graduated anal plugs so that you can take your time and go easy.

Juli Ashton Anal Beginner Kit

One other important idea: Masturbating your partner, or having your partner masturbate as you experiment with these sensations allows your partner to create an association between anal sex and orgasm.  This can lead to even more intense orgasms as the anal stimulation becomes more familiar.

Those are the standard rules for getting started.  Now we’ll break things up a little for women and men.  The approaches can be different for either sex, so we’ll separate them to make it simple.

Anal Sex Ideas for Women

Four Seasons Condoms

Once you’ve taken the time to become accustomed to anal stimulation, you’ll probably want to branch into anal sex. Most people automatically assume that this means hit the hands and knees and go straight to doggie style anal sex.  Often, that’s the worst way to get started.  Women might want to start anal sex in a classic “Cowgirl” position, where the woman is on top and in control of the penetration.

Missionary is also another great option for anal sex.  It limits the depth of penetration, and it’s definitely more intimate than doggie style as you and your partner try a whole new experience.  Again, during anal sex it is perfectly fine to masturbate, and some people swear by Bullets to achieve intense, body shaking orgasms.

You may find that you don’t need a bullet or masturbation.  It is quite possible to have an orgasm with only anal stimulation alone.  There are no rules, other than to be safe and have fun.

And if things get uncomfortable, just stop and come back to it another time!

Anal Sex Ideas for Men

Your new best friend Bob

You’re too macho for back door play, eh?  All that tells us is that you haven’t had a prostate massage induced orgasm.  Have one of those and get back to us on the macho stuff (we suspect you’ll be asking our experts which prostate massager is right for you).  Anal stimulation is great for women, but some men just can’t get enough either.

Some gay and bisexual men enjoy anal play together, but you don’t have to be gay or bisexual to enjoy anal stimulation.  The growing number of men buying strap ons tells us that straight men have caught on to the joys of anal sex too.  Now, here’s where we find a common bickering point.  Is there a difference between an anal orgasm and a prostate orgasm?  Do you really care?  We don’t.

If something is safe and makes you come, it doesn’t really matter what caused it scientifically.  Guys, you differ from women slightly.  The prostate is just inside your anus, right above your perineum (the area between your scrotum and anus).  It pays to be careful around the prostate.  If you’re going to have your partner use fingers for warm up, watch out for fingernails!  And remember that the prostate is sensitive.

Prostate massagers can give you a knee buckling, drooling and mind numbing orgasm like you’ve never experienced.  If your partner learns how to manipulate one to please you, be careful.  She’ll have the power to make you her love slave.  The rules on prostate massage are pretty simple.  If you have prostate issues, don’t do it.  Otherwise, you’ll want gentle, steady strokes on your prostate until you come.  It takes varying times, but if you’re patient, you’ll get the big prize.

Take a break from being the big doggie and give her some fun too

Same as with anal sex, you can masturbate during anal stimulation to get the best of both worlds.  In fact, you can folow the same rules as a woman.  Heck, give her a strap on, lube up, grab a masturbator and get completely freaky.  You can use your imagination to have a ball.  Plus, she might like a break from the mundane and an opportunity to play the role of Big Doggie!

Enjoy it, and if it gets uncomfortable, stop and come back to it later.

So we know anal orgasm is possible.  We know anal sex can be perfectly safe.  We know that many people enjoy it all the time.  All that’s left is for you to get busy enjoying it!

As some of you may know, I’m a big golf fan.  So when I went to watch the U.S. Open yesterday to start my annual fix, I was annoyed to see that it was a rainout. I mean, there was enough water on the course to make the golfers want to use a canoe to get down the fairways – you can see some pictures of it here.

And as you also know, I never miss the chance to tie in golf and sex – the only two things you don’t have to be good at to enjoy – so let’s talk waterproof vibrators!  Before I go any further, we should make a distinction.  Waterproof vibrators can be completely submerged in water.  Splash proof vibrators are ok for the shower, but don’t dunk them.  You’ll ruin your toy and your bath.

A good waterproof vibrator can give you freedom to enjoy an orgasm in the tub, the hot tub or even the pool.  Some people like the more adventurous rivers, lakes and oceans, but let’s be honest, you don’t want to masturbate in a public place unless you can get to some remote location and that’s usually a fantasy.  Unless you’re really kinky, but in that case, watch out for people with cameras and cops!

The idea behind a waterproof vibrator is to give you the flexibility to enjoy it in places other than the bedroom and you get privacy too.  That is, if you can keep your voice down in the bathtub.  And if you have children, the bathroom is one of the few places you get any privacy.  So the waterproof vibrator is a great option for getting away from it all and having some fun.

Back to the splashproof vibrator for a second.  You can use these in the shower as well.  So they’re also a good option for privacy, just not for the bath.

With all of this in mind, think of your waterproof vibrator as an “all weather” option.  With one of these, you’ll never have play time rained out.  And that’s a great thing – unlike the bad weather at the U.S. Open.

Getting Started

You’ve decided that you want to spice up your play time, or you want to get your playtimes going again.  Congratulations, and we believe you’ll have more fun than ever.  Before you get going, we want to give you three simple questions to ask yourself to help you make a good selection.

Question 1 - Do I want a toy for me alone, or do I want a toy I can share with a partner?  If you’re looking for a toy that you alone will enjoy, you’ll need to know what it is that stimulates you.  Know where your “hot spots” are before you begin, that way you’ll pick a toy that hits them.  If you’re looking for a toy to share, check out our Sex Toys For Couples or (if you’re a more adventurous type) Fetish Categories for great ideas.

Question 2 – How much experience do I have with toys?  If the answer is, “very little,” we suggest you start in our Sex Toys For Beginners category.  We stock it with a variety of sex toys that are perfect for learning about use and care for toys.  If you have a great deal of experience, you’ll love our wide selection of toys in a variety of styles and price ranges.

Question 3 – Which toy will make me happy?  That’s a question only you will ultimately know.  But if you need more information to make your decision, you can use our Expert Team to get all the information you will need before you make a purchase.  We can answer questions about toys and how to use them.

You’re close to getting the spice back in your play time.  Once you decide to make a purchase, we’re here to help you get what you want an reignite the flames of passion in your life.  So have a look at our selection, find what you want and let us help you get going!

If you’ve never owned a sex toy and don’t know where to start, we have GREAT news for you! You are shopping for a toy at a time when an unprecedented amount of information is available. It used to be that shopping for toys was difficult because you had to go to some dark alleyway to find a shop that had sex toys. Now more than ever, you can purchase a product for your own sexual health and well being and make an informed choice as you do.

There are multiple ways to utilize our trained staff in making this decision. First, you can always Ask an Expert using this link.

This option is completely anonymous, you won’t be charged and you don’t have to give any personal information. The Experts will help you to find what you seek. Our expert team spends time researching the products on our site to learn about materials, designs, functions and customer satisfaction.

Products for Sexual Health and Well Being

We live in an age where sexual health is an open topic on mainstream news, in coffee shops and among friends.  But we understand that some people want their sexual health decisions to be private.  Sextoys.com works to protect your privacy in all phases of your shopping experience.  Here’s how we do that:

First, at Sextoys.com, you get to shop in the privacy of your own home.  Not a sex toy party goer?  We understand.  While we talk openly and frankly about sexual health and sex toys, some people like to keep it quiet.  With an inventory approaching 20,000 products and still growing, we offer you a wide range of products to choose from and the ability to choose in the privacy of your own home.

Next, when you purchase from us, we handle the transaction in a discreet manner.  That means you won’t see Sextoys or any variation of it on your bank statement.  We use non-descript billing to keep your privacy maintained.  We don’t add you to any mailing lists and we do not spam.  Your privacy is assured when you make a purchase with us.

Then we make sure that your package is shipped discreetly.  You won’t receive a pink package stamped “Sex Toys Inside.”  We ship in discreet white or brown packages with non-descript information on the shipping information.  When your package arrives, only you will know what is in it.

While we’re discussing this, if you’re a fan of erotica, but you don’t like going to the back of the video store to buy it, you can buy your DVD’s directly from us.  But if you don’t want to buy them and wait, we’ve teamed with Hotmovies.com to give you the opportunity to stream movies directly to your home, with no shipping or waiting, and we’ll give you 10 minutes free to explore the options and try it out.  With over 100,000 titles from which to choose, you’re sure to find something you and your partner will enjoy.

We work hard to make sure that your shopping experience is pleasurable and discreet, and we hope you’ll have a look at what we have to offer.  You can find products in a wide range of categories in the upper left hand corner of the blog.

This little guy is about as simple a sex toy as you could ask for, but for adding the extra oomph to play time, I have to rank it as a heavyweight.  The Tantus Beginner’s Cock Ring is an awesome addition to the collection.  And this is a great time to discuss how to properly use a cock ring as well.  So I’ll tell you how awesome this one is, but I’ll start with how to use it (you would be amazed at the number of people who ask us how to use a cock ring).

First, because this is a silicone cock ring, it does have some “give” to it, which makes it quite easy to use and unlike metal cock rings, adds a huge safety factor.  I have never had a metal ring crisis, but reading about one once made me realize that for beginners, silicone is the safest bet for cock ring use. 

To wear it, all you have to do is place one testicle inside, and then loop it over your other testicle.  Now the next point is up for personal preference.  I prefer to be semi-flaccid, not hard, but not flaccid either when I pull the cock ring over my penis.  This applies only to silicone rings.  No way can you get a metal ring over an erect penis, without doing some damage somewhere around your jewels.

There is a picture on Wikipedia that shows how a cock ring (albeit metal) fits on a man.

Once on, the erection can – and will – go full.  Nothing for me feels quite as sexy as a gift wrapped erection!  But aesthetics are only a small bit of the fun.  First, the cock ring serves to keep the erection powerful for longer by restricting blood flow.  Don’t get the image of a tourniquet, it isn’t like that!  It just helps to keep things solid.

But the real payoff is the ejaculation.  If you think you’ve had a volcanic experience without one, with this little gem, it can last for up to a minute, which in sex terms is like about ten thousand years.  This one actually had me shocked at how intense the orgasm and ejaculation went for me.

I wholeheartedly endorse this product and suggest that if you haven’t ever used a cock ring, this is an excellent one to start your experiment.  You’ll love the way it feels.

You can even add the Tantus Beginner’s Cock Ring to your wish list of up to $1,000 worth of toys for FREE in Ginger Leigh’s Fabulous Shopping Spree!

For 5/21/2008: Tell us why your boy deserves a toy in the comments to this post, and you could win this Prize! Comments must be entered before 4:30 PM EDT!

I don’t know if I’m alone in this, but I am greatly inspired by the great James Brown in life and in the bedroom.   I mean, who on this great earth doesn’t aspire to be a sex machine?

Of course, I’m sure not everyone takes the phrase “sex machine” literally, but I say why not?  Technology has come a long way  over the course of my short lifetime and I’m all about putting it to work where it matters most – in the bedroom!

Obviously, it’s not easy to be a sex machine, so we’re going to take this step by step.  Today I want to start with something easy – the hands.  I love everything about my girl’s hands – the way they look on my body, the way they feel, and the work that they do.  But I’m also a big fan of vibration and if she were to be the next bionic woman, I’d make sure she were equipped with high end finger vibes!

Grrl Toyz Dual Silicone Finger Massager is the perfect accessory for those of us who don’t have a dreamy doctor boyfriend like Will Anthros to rebuild us into orgasm machines!  Powered by a super fancy wrist pack, you get not one but two magic finger vibes to bring you or a partner to earth shattering orgasm in seconds.  What’s even better is that the vibes are individually controlled, which sets the wearer up to tease and titilate!

Stay tuned for more tips on becoming the ultimate Sex Machine and don’t forget to check out Ginger Leigh’s Shopping Spree!

Not a good place to start

Anal play can be a fun and exciting new part of your sexual repertoire, but you’ll want to make sure to follow a few simple guidelines to keep it safe and prevent a bad experience. If you’ve never experienced anal play, the key to enjoying it is to do it right – from your first try – and in this case, right means careful. Many people have rushed into anal play without taking the proper steps to prepare, and the end result was either painful, or just unenjoyable.

Taking these steps can save you from discomfort and a ruined play time:

Secret 1 – Relax.

Never try anal play for the first time when you are streesed, anxious, nervous or overly excited.  Anal play requires relaxation to make sure that you can avoid pain.  Taking a hot bath together, or a good massage can help.  As you relax, you will then be able to relax your sphincter muscle to facilitate easy entry.  If you are too nervous, or anxious, you will tighten that muscle, leading to a painful experience.

Secret 2 – Think Lube.

Before you experiment with penetration, use as much lube as you can.  When you think you’ve added enough, add a little more.  The anus does not provide any natural lubrication, so if you don’t use enough lubricant, you can end up with tears in the skin and a painful outcome.  As you continue with anal play, stop and add more lube if you feel any discomfort.

Secret 3 – Start Small.

The last thing you’ll want to do is to insert something large during your first try – or first few tries – at anal play.  If you have a partner, have him use his finger or a small butt plug to get a feel for penetration.  As you relax and become comfortable with the sensation, you can then move on to partnered penetration, or larger toys.  Always take your time to become comfortable before you move on.

Secret 4 – Position Matters with a Partner.

Many people envision doggie style when thinking about anal sex.  This may be a bad idea for a beginner, because this position facilitates maximum penetration.  Start with the missionary position, having your partner lift your legs to facilitate penetration.  Your partner will then be better able to gauge your comfort based on your expressions, and this is also more intimate and fun too!

Secret 5 – Take it Slow.

Hard and fast anal play – like people see in porn movies – is not a good idea for a beginner.  You need to go slow and easy to fully appreciate the sensations, be aware of your lubrication and to prevent painful results because you can’t stop fast enough.  Taking it slow is key to getting the most from your anal play.

Now, we should add the proviso for new readers, that you should always use a condom for anal play.  Condoms can prevent the spread of STIs and bacterial infections.

Once you are comfortable with anal play, you can try new positions and sensations.  Using these secrets will get you on your way to a new, exciting repertoire.

There is just something about sparkly things on nipples that makes them that much more enticing.  Breasts are beautiful on their own, but pasties take titillation and temptation to another level.  There is a little something left to the imagination, and that goes a long way.
 
Have you always wondered how the burlesque babes twirl their tassels?  Do you want to add a little extra fun to foreplay?  Maybe you just want a fun trick to show your friends.

Showgirl Sequined Panty and Pasties

1. Applying your pasties:

You can use the provided adhesive, spirit gum which gives a reliable stick or medical adhesive which will guarantee 100% without a doubt that your pasties are not going anywhere!  For at home use, the provided adhesive should be sufficient.  You can also purchase remover from a costume shop if you are so inclined, but not necessary.

Apply the adhesive to the outer edge of the pastie ONLY!  Removal will be painful and can cause irritation if the pastie is stuck to the end of your nipple.  Once the adhesive is applied, let the pastie set for less than a minute in order to get tacky.

Simply stick the pasties on your nipples.  Make sure to look in the mirror to ensure evenness.  You are ready to twirl!

2. Of course you are going to want to stand in front of a mirror. 

3. Shimmy your shoulders, alternating right and left in a forward and backward motion.  You want to do this quickly but not spastically. 

4. Leaning back the slightest bit and holding your arms out to the side will help.  Play around with your positioning. 

5. This will take a few tries, but do not get discouraged.  Eventually you will find the rhythm that works for you and your tassels will be spinning like little helicopters!

Never pay more than $20 for standard sequined pasties!  They can get pricy once you start adding crystal rhinestones and other bling.  You can get creative and add your own bling with gem tac or a glue gun.
 
California Exotic makes the Hearts of Love and Showgirl Sequined Panty and Pasties sets, as well as the butterfly shaped- Shane’s Pasties.  Both come in a few different color choices.

Get twirling ladies!

If you are looking for ways to get the most from play time, check out Toygasms.

“BIGGER ORGASMS From Every Toy In This Site!

If you’re looking for a new sex toy – or seeking hotter adventures in toyland, here’s how to heighten your toyplay for the BEST orgasms of your life!

This easy-to-read guide is filled with tempting tips, sexy illustrations and pulse-quickening pointers to maximize YOUR pleasure, and send your partner over the edge! Written by a woman who tried out and sized up every type of toy, sexy Sadie Allison now shares her intimate insider’s secrets with YOU.

Over 150 tell-all pages…40 toygasmic techniques. Perfect for every newcomer…and all toy lovers.”

Dr. Sadie Allison knows her toys.  Or, you can find other options…