A very rude boy

Every guy on the planet should at least once in his life experience a prostate massage.  Some guys will not like it, but I believe the majority would love it.  I’ve tried almost 30 different prostate massagers at this point, and the latest in my line of conquest is the Rude Boy by Rocks Off.  It sports some interesting features and has some novel ideas, worthy of further exploration.

First, let’s get to the point – or shaft – about which most guys spend the most consideration first.  I am by no means a “size queen,” but I also don’t want a test of the strength of my sphincter to hold a toy in while I’m concentrating on getting Captain Happy an eruption via the south slope.  That is to say, a prostate orgasm requires focus on the pleasure, and the last thing I want is the instrument of bliss sliding out every time I flinch.

The Rude Boy falls into the “just right” category on that front.  It is neither too large, nor too small, and I wasn’t worried about keeping things in place for the duration.

Now, the savants among those of us possessing a Y chromosome also appreciate quality in a prostate massager.  Right out of the box, the Rude Boy has no irritating stench, thanks to its superior materials (see also: Medical Grade, The Joy of using).  For those concerned with post eruption environmental hazards, this cheeky sex toy cleans up in a snap.

Reasonable guys will also want more information on the nubs that are designed to “tap the old taint.”  This is, as a point of fact, the most effective argument for the use of the Rude Boy.  Those nubs, with the bullet humming away right underneath them, are like the pillars of heaven, turning one’s crotch into an erogenous zone nearly as intense as a Roman bath-house after a bottle of wine!  Yes, your perineum will thank you for the experience (no, it really doesn’t talk, but you get the idea).

For the retiring sorts who like their orgasms in solitude, the bullet is whisper quiet, but powerful enough to keep one satisfied.

But it wouldn’t be fair to lavish praise on such a cheeky addition to the stable, without picking a few nits along the way (in hopes that a design team is reading this closely).  The largest nit is the length of the curvature of this toy.  By my best anal estimation, the tip misses the bull’s eye by a full inch or more.  Tighten it up lads and save some money on raw materials.  I was able to accomplish the massage, but it came at the price of disappointing my perineum for a few minutes.

However, the first miss was – to be entirely honest – painful.  To my knowledge, no researcher has discovered the orgasmic benefits of colonic massage.

The smaller nit is that the bullet didn’t carry the vibration all the way up the shaft.  I’d drop a few more dollars for a larger bullet down there (wouldn’t have any choice, my perineum would hold me at gunpoint to do it).  The lack of vibration at the top meant more work, which was mildly disappointing, since I was engaged in other mental activities at the moment.

So, while these nits didn’t allow the Rude Boy to crack (pun intended) my top five, it made a respectable showing.  And remember, each body is unique, so you may find this prostate massager hits your spot.  The only way to find out is to try it.  Like I said before, the perineum massage alone on this model warrants the investment.

Good luck, and may your eruption also bring a halt to air travel over Europe!

I’m a big fan of treating myself every once in a while. Sometimes that means going out for a nice sushi dinner with a great book and sometimes it means spending a little cash on a high tech vibe that I know will rock my world for years to come.
Hopefully, I’m not the only lady out there who thinks she deserves the very best! While some of these toys may seem a little pricey, I think it’s better to spend $80 on a vibe I’ll use ALL the time than a pair of boots that will sit in the back of my closet.

Today’s Top Five list features my favorite high-end vibrators and trust me when I say that every woman should own at least one!

1. Lelo’s Ina – I’ve always loved Lelo’s toys, but when they came out with this rabbit style vibe a couple of years ago, I became a fanatic. I mean, they took all of my favorite features of their older models (multi-speed, multi-function, rechargeable, and body-safe) and added a clit stimulator! To be honest, I’m surprised I’ve left the house since this arrived in the mail.

2. We Vibe II – This is my favorite couple’s toy of all time. It’s the only toy that was made to be worn during penetration and boy does it do the job. The new and improved version 2 has nine amazing vibration patterns that will rock your world. It’s rechargeable, made from silicone and, in my opinion, a must have for anyone with a vagina.

3. Synergy-better sex pleasure system – The Synergy is a massager that uses a unique oscillating action (up to 12,000 oscillations per minute) to enhance pleasure and any woman who has ever used an oscillator will tell you they are AMAZING. It’s a totally different sensation than what you get with a vibrator and I find they provide deeper, longer orgasm. Definitely worth checking out if you’re looking to splurge.

4. Naughtinano – Music fans are going to love this inventive vibe. Just plug it into your mp3 player and this toy buzzes to the beat! I will admit that you’re be disappointed if you try to use it with your favorite Sarah McLachlan cd, but a good base driven mix will rock your world! It’s fun and it’s definitely different!

5. Gigi – I love g-spot stim, so I had to include a second Lelo toy on my list. I don’t feel bad about it because they’re definitely creating some of the finest toys out there. I mean, who else is offering a year warranty on their vibes? The Gigi is curved just right to hit the special spot and when you add the vibrations, you’re in for a hell of a ride.

Just wanted to let our customers know that all Rocks Off products have been marked down 25%!  Now’s the time to get the perfect sex toy to make your adult play time better.

Get your Rocks 25 percent Off

A good favorite!

It’s Friday and we feel lucky, so we’re going with the number 7, even though there are a few other minor issues we could mention here.  But we wanted to get a few items out on the table that haven’t been there before in this blog.  Sex toys are great additions to the bedroom, bathroom, kitchen or wherever else you want to use them in private.  That said, we also want you to enjoy them, and enjoyment can hinge on avoiding these common problems.

1. This one is for the guys out there (that means you, sitting there stewing over your partner’s favorite dildo).  NEVER, ever, compare your pride and joy with your partner’s favorite playmate.  The “Duh Factor” on this one is immense, but it bears discussing.  Unless you were chosen by a picture showing you in the Full Monty, your partner wanted you for reasons other than the length or girth of captain happy.  Let your partner have her or his fun and roll with it.  That dildo or vibrator is a pleasure instrument, not a measuring stick!

2. Fantasy is NOT reality.  Even the most experienced players know that there is a time and place for everything.  Trying to recreate a special moment in a moment that isn’t so special (think 6:30 AM, prior to the first coffee), is a recipe for disaster.  Sex toys are great when your partner is in the mood, but they don’t fit in every time.  Don’t blame the tools, if you’re attempting to use them when the job isn’t called for.

3. Keep what works, discard the rest.  Think about it, you don’t keep eating food that you don’t like in hope that it will taste better next time.  The same rule applies to your sex toys and erogenous zones.  I’ve tossed out at least $1,000 worth of toys, lubes and other items because they didn’t work for me (yes, I actually paid for them – they weren’t perks).  How many bad meals have you sat through?  It’s not that big of a deal to spend some bucks and decide that something doesn’t work.  If you look at it as an investment in finding what does work, you are on your way.

4. Revisiting tools, always make sure that you have everything you need.  You’ve invested time and energy to meet someone who shares your proclivities.  Then, just when everything comes together, you forgot the condoms?  Have you lost your mind?  Nope, you are simply unprepared.  Don’t let that happen.

5. One last thing on tools, always use the right tools for the right jobs.  If a sex toy isn’t designed for anal play, don’t use it there.  If you are going to try out the large dildo, have the right amount of lube on hand (or wherever else you need it). Make sure that your sex toy is safe around water before you take the pleasure bath – and know the difference between splash proof and waterproof.  Your sex toys are only as good as you want if you use them properly.

6. Modification is not good with sex toys!  Some people have had serious injuries because they attempted to change their sex toys.  And, by the way, we hear tons of talk about homemade sex toys.  For some people, that’s possible.  But like anything else, the rest of us would do far better buying a professionally designed sex toy.  The fact is, most of us should avoid the nightmare of a poorly functioning or poorly designed sex toy.

7. Keep realistic expectations.  A sex toy can’t replace a loving relationship (though it can enhance one).  And a sex toy isn’t supposed to.  Enjoy your toys, but don’t expect them to give you everything you need.

As most of you know, we love our sex toys.  Keep these issues in mind and you can avoid most mistakes.  And always be ready to experiment.  You never know when you might discover a whole new avenue of pleasure!