Blowjob Simulator: Man’s Best Friend?
Hi guys. Yes, as the title suggests, this one’s for you. Many guys think that aside from love dolls, sex toys are the best friends of women everywhere. Not so fast on that assessment; you may find out that a sex toy has your name all over it – figuratively speaking – and you can use more than just your hand when it’s happy time.
Enter the Blowjob Simulator. Perhaps you don’t have a girlfriend (or boyfriend, if you will). Or, your partner doesn’t dive below the belt. It could be that you have, as some guys have been known to do, said something so obnoxious that the U.S.S. Hummer has been put in dry dock indefinitely. A blow job is only a simulation away.
What once used to require dinner, a foot massage and a luxuriant bubble bath is now compressed into the joys of guy-like engineering in the form of the sufficiently guy designed sounding – Optimum Power Vibro Sucking Stroker.
“Vibrating soft touch stroker with superb sucking action. Penis enhancement while soothing vibrations are delivered throughout. High grade easy pump bulb. Multi-speed, turbo powered battery pack with LED increments. LID included for convenience.
Requires 4 AA batteries, not included.”
Click the picture because you know you will want one of these
And while that blowjob simulator is definitely doing post graduate work at the University of Slobbery Knobbers, it isn’t your only choice. That’s correct, you can rev the hot rod on some high octane replica lips as well. Porn star Taylor Wane will tell you how much she’s enjoying your company while she keeps your piston firing. Seriously. We can’t make that up – you need to click here to see it.
It doesn’t take a doctor to tell you that giving the tonsils a wet willy is a great way to blow off some steam, but Ol’ Doc Joc thinks he’s created a vent that will let you blow. Doc Joc’s Incredible Jack Off is just plain intense:
“Doc Jocs Incredible Jack-Off device is a vibrating wonder pump with a textured silicone sleeve that simulates oral sex. Requires 2 AA size batteries, not included.
The good Doc is there for when you have no uvula to knock around
Getting a great blowjob has never been so easy all you have to do is slide your cock into the pump and crank up the vibes for a totally orgasmic masturbation experience!”
What’s that? You say you really aren’t ALL THAT into blowjobs? Well, why on earth would you want a blowjob simulator. We understand. Some guys are just nookie hounds – not that there’s anything wrong with that – and need something to simulate that feeling. No problem. Check out our complete line of masturbators for the sensation you want.
Or, you could just go straight for the Vagina, which rhymes with angina, which feels like a heart attack, which is what you’ll simulate when you get your hands on a little Fatty D!
“CyberSkin with Virtual Touch technology creates a soft pussy, with a tight opening and snug love tunnel. Innovative, realistic fleshy folds of skin. Gents can live out their Big Beautiful Woman fantasies.
Warning SERIOUS BOOM BOOM in this box
Full pussy lips and snug ribbed love tunnel. Hand painted pink pussy. Soft, ample thighs unlike anything else on the market. Gents can let her be on top– at 7.8 pounds (124.8 oz.) she feels ultra realistic. Open ended love tunnel. Waterproof. Phthalate free.
9 x 9.5 x 4.5 (22.75 cm x 24 cm x 11.5 cm).”
Ok, we’re a little off our subject of blowjob simulators, but Ms. Flores is worth it!
So check out our Sex Toys for Men category, guys. It’s a toys for the boys split, bordered by orgasms and a cute, curvy red head on the top! And get your socks off, man, with these beauties, you don’t need traction!
What are you doing reading this line? You should be shopping for a blowjob simulator already!
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