Delayed Ejaculation – The Flip Side of Premature Ejaculation
Delayed ejaculation, or retarded ejaculation, is a form of sexual dysfunction that severely delays ejaculation under high levels of sexual excitement. I’ve written a few posts on what you can do to keep from ejaculating prematurely and even ways to enhance male orgasm, but what happens when you’re all revved up and can’t ignite the engine? I have good news for you, the condition can be treated!
What is it exactly? According to Paula Hall it is:
“Difficulty in ejaculating is known by doctors as retarded ejaculation. Although men with this problem may be fully sexually aroused during sex and enjoying the stimulation, orgasm seems to take for ever and may not happen at all.
Retarded ejaculation (RE) can be a very distressing condition and make men feel embarrassed, isolated, confused and very frustrated.
Partners often blame themselves and feel inadequate, which puts even more pressure on the man to perform and compounds the problem.
Some men may have had the condition all their life, in all sexual situations. Some will have no problem when masturbating alone but tense up completely with a partner. Others may only have the problem during intercourse.”
IMPORTANT: We always make clear that if you believe that you may be suffering from a problem related to dysfunction, seek professional medical assistance. We can only pass along facts we’ve found, we can’t offer treatment advice to any individual.
What causes retarded ejaculation? Psychosexual Therapist Paula Hall outlines physical and psychological causes:
Physical causes can be: diabetes, nerve damage, prostate disease, alcohol abuse, prescription drugs such as betablockers or antidepressants.
But the Psychological Causes, according to Hall, can be the most common. They include:
“You’re a perfectionist. Sex is a performance and you must make it perfect for your partner. Sex has become all work and no play.
You’re scared to lose control. This may be a character trait in many areas of your life, not just sexually.
You’re worried that you’re not a good lover. You can’t enjoy your physical sensations if you’re worrying about your sexual prowess and ability to please your partner.
Deep down, you believe sex is wrong. Shame or guilt about sexuality due to negative childhood messages or a sexual trauma will prevent your enjoyment.
You’re distracted. Concerns about work or other tasks mean your mind’s not on the job.
You’re spectating. Concentrate on the physical sensations of love making, slip off into your favourite fantasy. This will free you from feeling too conscious of reaching a climax.
You’re unhappy. If you’re feeling angry or insecure with your partner, you may struggle to feel relaxed enough to enjoy yourself. Try to sort out relationship tensions before you get to the bedroom.”
All of these can be factors in delayed ejaculation. If you’ve had it for a while, just knowing what it is can be an amazing step forward. WebMD offers a succinct line of treatment options:
“This sexual problem is often treated by reducing anxiety and learning to control the timing of ejaculation. Sensate focus exercises may help; you should withhold penetration until you sense that ejaculation is inevitable. A common cause of retarded or delayed ejaculation is side effects from medication. The most common drugs that cause this are antidepressant medications such as the SSRIs.”
But WebMD also offers this advice as well:
“Dealing with Environment and Psychological Causes of Sexual Problems
Your healthcare provider may be able to help you outline strategies to address environmental considerations. If you have psychological barriers to sexual functioning, your healthcare provider may suggest that you seek individual psychotherapy, couples therapy with your partner, or consult a sex therapist. A number of techniques and therapies can help traumatized individuals become more comfortable with their sexuality. Similarly, if your healthcare provider feels that you may need more information about sexual functioning to help you achieve greater enjoyment, you may be referred to a sex therapist.”
So the final analysis is this: If you’ve suffered with this problem, you can find a way out of it by seeking professional help. What is it worth to you to have a good sex life? That decision is ultimately yours.
Related posts:
- Slow Down Cowboy, Enjoy the View!
- Velvet Vaginas and Sex Ed
- Male Orgasm: It’s a Sure Bet, Right?
- Featured Product: A Sex Life Saver
- Anything that moves?
Tags: News, Sexual Health
