Safe Words
Enjoy your sub safely
I’ve heard any number of theories about safe words. Here is mine: If you want to play with me, you WILL have a safe word and WILL use it when you need to do so. Fetish play incorporates the whole being. Your mind and body are at work trying to process information rapidly, and it can be overwhelming at times. A safe word can prevent emotional or physical catastrophe.
Consider breast play or CBT. Only the person on the receiving end can gauge how much is too much. Asking a Dom to judge your boundaries is not only a foolish thing to do, you’re asking the impossible. And this goes for experienced players too. Anyone can have an off day and “not be into it” enough to lead to problems.
Picking a good safe word is another key. The last thing you want to do is choose a word that can be mistaken for another. You also want to avoid words that can kill a scene. “No” could be an awful choice if you were acting out a pwer exchange scene. Of course a sub will say “no” as he or she is being trained. So picking a unique word is important. You also want it to be simple. The last thing a person wants is a ruptured testicle because he can’t shout “antidisestablishmentarianism” fast enough. Clear, simple, non-confusing safe words are the best.
What about that ball gag? In that case you want to use a safe gesture. You also want to keep it simple and clear, like tapping a foot three times, or head shaking or something similarly easy to see and understand. Whenever you use a ball gag, you should never take your eyes off of your sub. You are messing with air flow, and no matter how loose you make it, or how much extra space is around it, things can go wrong.
The point to all of this is to have a clear cut, simple way for a sub to communicate that they need to stop. This is important for a Dom too, preventing injury and horrible mistakes from happening. Use a safe word and your play can be intense, satisfying and mutually respectful. In the scene, a sub is offering up a gift. Don’t abuse it.
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Tags: Fetish, The Master
