Yes, we realize that title sounds odd.  But we’d like to show you why we suggest it.  Golfers have a variety of clubs for a variety of situations.  On the tee box, a golfer can use a club designed to propel the ball a longer distance.  Golfers also have clubs designed for fairways, the rough, hazards and the putter for the green.  Wherever they are on the course, they have a club to suit the situation in which they find themselves.

For different kinds of clubs

You can do the same with your toy chest.  Let’s take a tour on the sexual golf course.

The Tee Box. 

The tee box sets the tone for each round of play.  In play time, the tee box is setting the mood and warming up for having fun.  Like the golfer, you’ll need the right tools.  If you want to maximize your distance, you’ll probably have some warm up tools like massage oils, lubricants, and toys that stimulate the right spots for her and him.

If you get things started correctly, you’ll find play smooth and easy.  We should also mention that the first swing should be sensuous and fun, that way, everything after is easy too!  If that first swing is right, you end up in:

The Fairway.

Could be too much club

Ah, the fairway, the place where you can casually work in comfort.  Golfers love to be well positioned in the fairway.  It allows them to aim for the sweet spot.  If your playtime has you and your partner in the fairway, you’ll want to make sure you have what you need to hit the sweet spot.  There are numerous vibrating cock rings that will allow you to hit that sweet spot.  If your partner isn’t a guy, no problem there either!  Try one of these vibrators or dildos to get you there.

But say, like everyone else, you enjoy a casual round alone.  If you find yourself alone in the fairway, club selection is absolutely crucial.  Pick a club that is too big, and you’ll find yourself out of bounds.  Pick one that is too small and you’ll never get there.  Make sure that you have the perfect sized club for what you want to do!  Guys sometimes have a problem with club selection, always wanting the biggest and strongest.  Hold on there, your caddie says to give yourself options with these hybrid clubs that let you take a few practice swings.

Having the right tools makes fairway play much easier.  Even so, from time to time the best golfers find themselves in:

The Rough.

The rough is where you end up when your play is even a little off.  Golfers don’t quit when they end up in the rough, and neither should you!  Some guys tend to find that visualizing their next shot will help in the rough.  Other guys find that trying a different approach shot helps in the rough.  Women have a variety of toys that can help them out of the rough stuff and back into the fairway.  But what if you missed the fairway and hit:

.

Don't let a hazard ruin your score

The Hazard

Hazards are all over the course, but concentrated right around where the golfer is about to score.  Hitting a hazard means a golfer has to take the time to select the right club to get out of it and safely on the putting surface.  Play time can have many hazards.  Men can suffer physical hazards that require a special tool to work out of.  Women have a variety of hazards too.  Sometimes, little things like extra lube can help. 

We should add that if you are experiencing prolonged physical problems, you’ll want to seek out a caddy who was trained in a Medical School and is a licensed doctor.  Sure, that’s an expensive caddy, but even the pros have to shell out a little money from time to time to stay on top of their games. 

After all of that work from the Tee Box, you finally find yourself in a position to score at: 

The Green.

Now comes the most important club in the golfer’s bag.  Every golfer has a different set of clubs.  Some carry fairway metals, some have several lofted clubs, some don’t even carry a driver.  But the one club every golfer has is a putter.  He or she can’t score without it.

Never play without a putter

If you’re looking to score, you should never be without the most necessary tool in your selection either, ever.  Having that club will make sure your scorecard isn’t disqualified for unsafe play later.

And guys, remember that the journey is as important as the destination.  Take some time to thoroughly enjoy the course before you decide to score.  You’ll remember the round far longer if you do!  The old saying goes, “The only two things on earth you don’t have to be good at to enjoy are golf and sex.”  That’s probably true, but if you want to improve your game, have the right clubs in the bag and know how to use them!

Tags: golf and sex, Toy Selection

This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 18th, 2009 at 1:03 pm and is filed under Fun Facts and Information, Toy Selection. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.